Calls in Sudan for Execution of Briton

Before it was out of hand, now, this is entered a new world of insanity. This story truly is the epitome of fanaticism. Remember, we're talking about a teacher of children allowing her students to name a teddy bear Mohammed. There are protests happening right now in which people are calling for this woman to have her life ended for this "affront" to Islam. Perhaps, instead, we should be talking about an end to Islam.


Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear "Muhammad."

They're all in the same place? Load the missiles.


In response to the demonstration, teacher Gillian Gibbons was moved from the women's prison near Khartoum to a secret location for her safety, her lawyer said.


Maybe that secret location should be London.


The protesters streamed out of mosques after Friday sermons, as pickup trucks with loudspeakers blared messages against Gibbons, who was sentenced Thursday to 15 days in prison and deportation. She avoided the more serious punishment of 40 lashes.

But even the 40 lashes, which is a ridiculous punishment for an act that should not even garner a punishment in the first place, isn't good enough for these complete, bloodthirsty fanatics. Death? Really? Execution for a woman who allowed an act of childhood by granting them the human right to express themselves in some sort of creative fashion? Who here would the world truly be better off without?


They massed in central Martyrs Square outside the presidential palace, where hundreds of riot police were deployed. They did not try to stop the rally, which lasted about an hour.


In ancient Rome, the Roman garrisons would have quelled this little "demonstration" with vicious acts of violence and Crucifixions. Perhaps it's time to go old school on these nutcases.


"Shame, shame on the U.K.," protesters chanted.


Yeah, crazy UK all trying not to have someone beaten for naming a teddy bear. Fucking tea drinking pyscho being all humane and civilized.


They called for Gibbons' execution, saying, "No tolerance: Execution," and "Kill her, kill her by firing squad."


Would anyone here miss the Sudan if we turned it into a large hole? No? Just checking.


Gibbons' chief lawyer, Kamal al-Gizouli, said she was moved from the prison for her safety for the final nine days of her sentence.


I truly hope this woman comes home safe and sound. I'll be sending her a teddy bear named Muhammed in the mail since she lost the last one.

British Teacher Found Guilty in Sudan

Surprised?

The British teacher in Sudan who let her 7-year-old pupils name a class teddy bear Muhammad was found guilty on Thursday of insulting Islam and sentenced to 15 days in jail and deportation.

The 15 days in a Sudanese jail sure sucks but at least afterwards she can go home where she can name a teddy bear anything she wants.

Under Sudanese law, the teacher, Gillian Gibbons, could have spent months in jail and been lashed 40 times.

Did sanity prevail here? Probably not. We're just seeing Sudan bend to international pressure which, actually when you think about it, means they know they're wrong.

“She got a very light punishment,” said Rabie A. Atti, a government spokesman. “Actually, it’s not much of a punishment at all. It should be considered a warning that such acts should not be repeated.”

"I'll never name a teddy bear again."

British officials, meanwhile, were furious.

"Lash her! LASH HER!"

As soon as the news broke that Ms. Gibbons had been convicted, the British foreign office in London, which had called the whole ordeal “an innocent mistake” summoned the Sudanese ambassador — for the second time in two days.

Should have put the Sudanese ambassador in jail until this poor woman is home safely. Claim he insulted Britain by drinking his tea out of a coffee mug.

British teacher charged with insulting Islam

Another Mohammed sketch artist?

A British primary school teacher was charged yesterday in Sudan with "insulting religion and inciting hatred" after allowing children in her class to name a teddy bear Muhammad.

Oh yea, nothing incites hatred for Islam like naming a cuddly teddy bear after your prophet. Let's forget the suicide bombings, beheadings and major militancy in over ten different countries and focus on Mohammed, the huggable teddy bear that is making your religion look bad.

Sudan's ambassador to London was summoned to the Foreign Office last night as the state prosecutor said Gillian Gibbons, 54, from Liverpool, would appear before judges in Khartoum today. She has been held by police since Sunday, accused of insulting the prophet Muhammad.

Teddy bear, it's a fucking teddy bear.

Despite her colleagues insisting it was an innocent mistake, Sudan's deputy justice minister confirmed yesterday that a charge had been laid. "The investigation has been completed and the Briton Gillian was charged under article 125 of the penal code," said Abdel Daim Zamrawi, speaking to the official Sudan news agency in Khartoum. "The punishment for this is jail, a fine and lashes. It is up to the judge to determine the sentence."

I know all you anti-war people out there think there is a peaceful solution to the Middle East "dilema" but, honestly, how can you reason with people who want to commit physical punishment for naming a teddy bear? Really, think about, what other than a big fucking bomb can alter this situation?

Gibbons arrived in Sudan in August to take up a post at the exclusive Unity high school, which follows a British-style curriculum. In September, during a class on animals and their habitats, she asked her seven-year-old pupils to give a teddy bear a name. They chose Muhammad, the name of one of the boys in the class and a popular name in Sudan.

So it's not alright to name a teddy bear Mohammed, but kids can run around with that name all they want? Why isn't naming people after Mohammed an affront to the prophet, after all, it's almost like saying Mohammed has been reborn in this child. Don't see many Jesus' running around in the US. Don't know many people named Buddha out there in Thailand.

Sarkozy urges China to act on climate change

And while you're at it, could you people please stop multiplying? Seriously, how much room could you possibly have left?

French President Nicolas Sarkozy challenged China on Tuesday to play its part in averting climate catastrophe, winding up a state visit in which he repeatedly urged Beijing to shoulder its responsibilities as a global power.

Unfortunately the challenge was to a ping-pong match which Sarkozy lost. Oh well climate, we tried.

Sarkozy became the latest Western leader to urge Beijing to spell out goals for limiting emissions growth blamed for global warming, something developing nations are not yet obliged to do.

Please guys, I'd like the Earth to be a nice cool temperature when we blow it up.

"I ask China to join us in a new global contract, an ecological and economic New Deal," he said in a speech to students at Beijing's Tsinghua University.

But China would not sign anything without a lawyer.

He appealed to China's authorities to exert "immediate, profound and sustainable" influence on the way the world's fourth-largest economy produces goods and consumes energy.

And stop putting poison in our toys god damnit.

Report Finds Washington Has Highest AIDS Infection Rate Among U.S. Cities

Not surprised with everyone out to fuck someone else in that city.

The District of Columbia has the highest rate of AIDS infection of any city in the country and the disease is being transmitted to infants, older adults, women and heterosexual men at an epidemic pace, according to a report released Monday by city health officials.

Sounds bad. Glad I don't live there.

The report said more than 12,400 people in the city — about 1 in 50 — are living with AIDS or H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS.

Condoms, I remember hearing somewhere that they are good.

California towns begin turning toilet sewage into drinking water

Oh good.

Flush a toilet in west Lathrop, and that wastewater - once it's treated - might irrigate a new neighborhood park or schoolyard.

How about I go piss on the swingset at the park and we can cut out the middle man?

Officials across the state are searching for new uses for old water, thus saving the best and cleanest water for your tap.

Do people still drink tap water?

About 500,000 acre-feet of wastewater is recycled each year in California, enough to flood more than half of San Joaquin County one foot deep.

That's a lot of water. Let's get back to that whole drinking out of the toilet thing though.

Lathrop's wastewater is treated, of course, before being piped to parks and schoolyards.

Oh of course, anything less would be crazy wouldn't it. I mean, why would anyone scrimp on the whole water treatment thing, you know, aside from the fact it would probably save someone who already has all the money in the world even more.

"It's very clean water. It comes pretty close to meeting drinking-water standards," said Cary Keaton, the city's director of public works.

Pretty close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. I don't want to chug a glass of water with a piece of shit floating in it and say, "well, that was close to not giving me E. coli and making me vomit uncontrollably."

While everyone seems to think recycling water is important, officials are working on standards to make sure contaminants remaining in treated wastewater don't cause more harm than good.

Countdown to someone dropping the ball on this one in 3,2...

Sunday Sign of Hope November 25th 2007

U.S. Starts First Major Pullout From Iraq, Beginning With Brigade Members

It'd be nice to have them home. Thank you for serving your country.

From The New York Times:

The first substantive drawdown of American troops in Iraq has begun, as the first members of a brigade in Diyala Province have started to leave, American military officials in Baghdad said Saturday.

Col. David W. Sutherland of the Third Brigade Combat Team, First Cavalry Division, whose soldiers have been working in Diyala since last November, said all 5,000 of his troops would be gone by mid-December.

However, because of continuing violence in Diyala, another brigade that is already in the country will take the place of the Third Brigade Combat Team.

The replacement soldiers are already in Diyala and are taking over their new jobs, Colonel Sutherland said. The replacement brigade, which had worked in Salahuddin Province, which is to the north and west of Diyala, will leave quieter areas of that province to the Iraqi Army and concerned local citizen groups, said Rear Adm. Gregory Smith, spokesman for the multinational division forces in Baghdad.

“There is a 5,000-troop net decrease in theater,” Admiral Smith said. “The redeployment without replacement reflects the overall improved security situation in Iraq.”

Mankind 'shortening the universe's life'

I honestly find it hard to believe that we're all THAT important.

Forget about the threat that mankind poses to the Earth: our activities may be shortening the life of the universe too.

Anyone have any reasons why we shouldn't just let ourselves die out like the dinosaurs cause I haven't heard any good ones for a long time.

The startling claim is made by a pair of American cosmologists investigating the consequences for the cosmos of quantum theory, the most successful theory we have. Over the past few years, cosmologists have taken this powerful theory of what happens at the level of subatomic particles and tried to extend it to understand the universe, since it began in the subatomic realm during the Big Bang.

You know I never fucking learn. Every time I do an article about outer space I promise myself it's the last one cause I never know what the fuck they're talking about. Big Bang, quantum theory, subatomic particles, I'm more lost than a female hooker in a San Fransisco Gentlemen's club.

But there is an odd feature of the theory that philosophers and scientists still argue about. In a nutshell, the theory suggests that we change things simply by looking at them and theorists have puzzled over the implications for years.

I've been staring at the same television for almost ten years now and it hasn't changed at all. Trust me, if I had that power, my girlfriend would be modeling for Penthouse.

They often illustrate their concerns about what the theory means with mind-boggling experiments, notably Schrodinger's cat in which, thanks to a fancy experimental set up, the moggy is both alive and dead until someone decides to look, when it either carries on living, or dies. That is, by one interpretation (by another, the universe splits into two, one with a live cat and one with a dead one.)

Now they're talking about dead cats. You ever get the feeling that the scienctists in this world are pulling one big, long practical fucking joke.

New Scientist reports a worrying new variant as the cosmologists claim that astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos.

"My bad."

Stricken Liner Evacuated Off Antarctica

"Thank God we didn't drown. Now we can freeze to death."

A Canadian cruise ship struck submerged ice off Antarctica and began
taking on water, but all 154 passengers and crew, Americans and Britons
among them, took to lifeboats Friday and were plucked to safety by a
passing cruise ship.

Good thing it was a high traffic area. Lots of people cruising through the ice these days huh.

No injuries were reported although passengers reportedly endured
subfreezing temperatures for several hours as they waited in bobbing
lifeboats for a Norwegian liner that took them to a Chilean military
base in the region.

Bet that wasn't on the brochure.

"The ship ran into some ice. It was submerged ice and the result was a hole
about the size of a fist in the side of the hull so it began taking on
water ... but quite slowly," said Susan Hayes of G.A.P. Adventures of
Toronto, which owns the stricken MS Explorer.

The ship didn't run into shit. Someone steered it into some ice.

"The passengers are absolutely fine. They're all accounted for, no injuries whatsoever."

Aside from the severe hypothermia suffered by all.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I just got back from NYC so I'm not into doing any news tonight. The funny will be back tomorrow.

If you're not from the US, sorry, we's got ourselves a holiday today so you'll have to suffer through it for a day. See you all tomorrow.

Corn Bin Collapses, Burying Iowa Family

See what happens when you don't eat your vegetables.

A grain bin collapsed and sent a tidal wave of corn into a home, sweeping it off its foundation, trapping a family of four and shaking the ground for miles.

"Well...dinners ready."

One man was taken to a hospital after being buried for hours in grain and debris in Hillsboro in southeast Iowa.

It was everywhere...EVERYWHERE!"

The bin - about 100 feet in diameter, 90 feet high and containing more than 500,000 bushels of corn - collapsed Monday evening. The force of the grain broke the walls of Jesse and Jennifer Kellett's home and sent the roof crashing down.

Do they sell insurance for that or is it considered an act of God?

Many residents of the town of 200 said they could hear the bin's rivets giving way, sounding like machine-gun fire. Farmers miles away reported feeling the ground shake. The bin was about 20 feet away from the house, authorities said.

"Earth's a-quakin'...corn's coming."

Heights of superstitious India: Man marries dog

I don't know if I'd call that superstitious. Heights of confusion maybe, heights of insanity, heights of heights to go to break a dry spell?

If there is a country that often takes superstition to different heights, it's India.

There's that superstition word again.

Throw salt behind you over your shoulder every morning to have a good day.

That's not too bad.

Bury your child's first tooth in cow-dung and throw it over your roof -- it will hasten the child's teething process.

Do you wait for your child's tooth to fall out or do you just shove the kids face into cow shit? And what do you throw over the roof? The tooth, the cow shit or the kid?

About 300 million gallons of waste go into the Ganges everyday, yet people go to bathe there as they believe it will wash away their sins.

They better hope it washes away their sins cause bathing in that will fucking kill you.

The latest demonstration of superstitious India: Indian man marries female dog to redeem himself of stoning two dogs to death. When he killed those two dogs about 15-years ago, he suffered some form of paralysis and lost hearing in one ear. An astrologer told him that he was cursed for his bad deed and marrying a dog was the only remedy.

Is it sad that I'm at least partially relieved it was a female dog? When I was in my younger teens I shot a bird with a BB gun. I felt horrible. It bothers me to this day when I think about it but I'm not about to fuck a Toucan.

10 Year Old Accused of Trying to Poison Teacher

Sometimes you just don't want homework.

Students who attend Mt. Pisgah Middle School, in Cornova, Tennessee and their parents were stunned Saturday by the news a student allegedly tried to poison his teacher Friday.

Stunned really? I've got to say, and it's sad to admit this, but I'm not surprised. Repulsed? Sickened? Confused? Yes, yes, but not surprised.

Shelby County School Board spokesperson Mike Tebbe said the 10-year-old student walked to the teacher's desk and poured a cleaning liquid into her coffee cup.

What do you do with a 10-year-old with murderous ambitions? Obviously something went wrong at some point during that 10 year span. How come these little shits are never the ones that get kidnapped?

A PTA parent who's child was in the same class at the time said the liquid was dry-erase board cleaner.

Bet the teacher will be keeping that under lock and key from now on.

Parents said the student was likely old enough to know exactly how sick the teacher could have become. "It was absolutely thought about, pre-calculated," said parent Marcus Vaughn. "He had to realize what he was doing."

He knew what he was doing though I doubt he really understood the consequences. I find that children have little ability to factor out the results of their actions and weigh the consequences. Although this is exactly why I believe it beating children from time to time.

The student was taken from the school and charged with reckless endangerment. He also faces a long suspension.

No shit.

"It puts the responsibility back on the parents," Vaughn said. "Now, they're going to have to do something to make sure this child don't keep going on a negative path."

If their kid is trying to kill people at age 10, there's not much hope for a turnaround.

Sunday Sign of Hope November 18th 2007

US military says Iraq violence down sharply since US surge

From WKBT.com:

U.S. officials in Baghdad report a 55% drop in violence in Iraq since the American troop buildup was completed early this summer.

Rear Admiral Gregory Smith says attacks in some areas are at their lowest levels in more than two years.

Embassy spokesman Philip Reeker says it's too early to credit a pledge by Iran to halt the flow of arms across its border into Iraq. And Admiral Smith says Iran is still regarded as a "principle supplier of weapons, arms, training and funding for many militia groups." He says, "That has not changed." Still, he says, the trend seems to be in the right direction.

Girl killed herself over online hoax

This is why I monitor what my daughter does on the internet.

Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her.

Fucking MySpace.com. I hate that fucking thing.

Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel.

A 13 year-old does not suffer from depression. You have nothing to be depressed about when you're 13. That's just puberty. Everyone goes through it. And as far as ADD goes, if see was able to keep an online relationship going for a month, she had no trouble paying attention. ADD is the pharmaceutical companies way of giving children medication for being young.

The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan's.

Surprise!

Now Megan's parents hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site will be prosecuted, and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet.

Okay, it was a cruel joke. Rotten thing to do. But criminal? Nah. How can you gauge how close someone is to offing themselves. If she were THAT fucking unstable perhaps she shouldn't have been allowed to have an online relationship. Huh. A little parenting perhaps?So fake profiles on MySpace would be open to criminal prosecution? You ever go on that fucking thing? There's profiles for people that don't even exist, like Superman and Mario and Luigi from the Super Mario Brothers video Game. This is typical of a parent or parents dropping the fucking ball on guarding their children and instead of putting the responsibility where it lies, with themselves, they go on the warpath and blame everyone and everything else for their missteps. My daughter's online surfing is monitored by either myself or my girlfriend. We have rules of which sites she is allowed to visit and if she comes across a site that we feel is inappropiate, we don't yell and scream and punish, that'll only make it that more enticing. We sit our child down and try to put what she saw into perspective and explain why at her age we feel it's not something she should be seeing or interacting with. I'm not an idiot, I know she thinks we're assholes and she wants to go to those sites. But that's the best we can do. And I'll tell you this much, I ever catch her on MySpace having an online relationship I'll drop kick the computer off the fucking roof. It doesn't make me a better parent than anyone else, it makes me a good parent and that's the best I can do.

The girl's mother, Tina Meier, said she doesn't think anyone involved intended for her daughter to kill herself. "But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile," she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.

I agree it's a pretty shitty thing to do. But again, not criminal. I'm more interested in how a 13-year-old girl with "depression" problems is allowed to have an online relationship. I mean, that's got to raise more red flags than fucking China.

Tina Meier said law enforcement officials told her the case did not fit into any law. But sheriff's officials have not closed the case and pledged to consider new evidence if it emerges.

That's what they say to you when you report a bike stolen.

Megan Meier hanged herself in her bedroom on Oct. 16, 2006, and died the next day. She was described as a "bubbly, goofy" girl who loved spending time with her friends, watching movies and fishing with her dad.

Sounds very depressed.
Look, it's sad that a 13-year-old felt she had no other choice but to end her own life. It's sick that an adult would be responsible for pushing her to that option through nasty communications on MySpace. Should the people responsible for the fake profile be held legally responsible for her death? No. Should they have their heads bashed in with a broom handle? Yea, probably. But in all, watch what you're children are doing on the internet and remember they don't have the same mind set as you yet. What you may see as a nasty prank they see as the end of their lives as they know it. Keep your eyes on them or...well...this might happen.

State of Emergency Lifted in Georgia

There was a state of emergency in Georgia?

Georgia’s government lifted a state of emergency as promised today, nine days after the emergency was imposed following a crackdown on anti-government protests. The crackdown and emergency drew harsh Western criticism of a country considered to be one of the region’s most democratic.

Boy everyone's just protesting their little hearts out all over the world ain't they? Sales of signs on sticks must be through the fucking roof. Can I buy stock?

Shortly after the move today, which was meant to restore political rights and allow some private media to function, President Mikheil Saakashvili announced a government reshuffle, appointing Lado Gurgenidze, the head of the Bank of Georgia, as prime minister, replacing Zurab Nogaideli, Georgian and Russian news agencies reported.

Oh, ok...I don't know either of those gentlemen.

Happy Birthday To Me

Yesterday marked Damnit! Earth's second birthday. Why am I posting today about yesterday's historic event? Cause I forgot. Sue me.

It was two years ago yesterday that I became so extremely bored at work that I decided to write a blog. It wasn't a conscience effort, I stumbled across blogger as I was "working" and said to myself "I should write a blog, it would definitely cut a good hour out of my boring workday each day". And so Damnit! Earth was born. I try to post daily, I miss days here and there, but have mostly been able to keep up with that schedule. I enjoy writing Damnit! Earth. The blog gets a good amount of hits each day, even though most people don't comment. That's alright with me. If you're only stopping by to grab a quick laugh I'm happy with that.

I've watched the traffic of my blog steadily increase over the past two years. I average in the thousands of hits a day, mostly returning viewers which means that most of you out there enjoy the blog on a daily or weekly basis. Traffic usually triples when CNN or another "real news" source links my blog. That's usually when I get the occasional nasty comment which is always fun to debate. I get hits from all around the world, from the US to the UK, southeast Asia to Russia and back around to Canada and Mexico. I've been viewed in Israel and Iran, China and Taiwan, Malaysia and Denmark. I even get a steady viewership from Germany which is surprising to me because I was under the impression that German sense of humor died way before WWI. I thank each and every one of you for stopping by, whether you comment or just smile and move on. I hope we've shared a laugh or two.

I've learned many things while doing this blog. First off, I noticed that whenever you are un-PC, people find it discomforting. I'm not claiming to be the only blog out there that is politically incorrect and I surely don't experience the same type of "hate" a lot of those blogs experience which I chalk up to the comical view I take on certain things. Comedy is universally accepted. Some times.
I've also been fortunate enough to experience some personal views on some of the stories I've done. On a few occasions I've had people comment on stories that have hit close to home for them. I did two stories this year, one about a woman in a car accident who suffered an internal decapitation and another about a news helicopter crash while filming a live high-speed police chase, in which people who have close ties to the people involved have stopped by to comment on the story. I always appreciate this even though most times their view is negative on my commentary.

I've also learned that reading the news on a daily basis in order to write Damnit! Earth is fucking depressing. There have been more than a few moments in which I've felt a sense of hopelessness while writing the blog. It's hard to find comedy in the horrible things that happen on our planet everyday. The way we treat each other is appalling. When you really think about things, the human species still hasn't learned much from our past and we still have a long way to go. But I have faith. Very little, but faith nonetheless.

The Sunday Sign of Hope is the hardest thing I do on Damnit! Earth. Finding fucked up stories about the state of our planet and it's inhabitants is easy. It's even easier to make fun of these occurrences because how ridiculous they are in the first place. Most of these jokes write themselves. But finding one news article a week that could be considered a sign of hope for the future of our species is more difficult than anything else I've undertaken. It's not that I think good things don't happen, it's just that I don't think happiness sells. That's a sad statement for the future in itself when the happiness and hope of others isn't considered a valuable market.

I also want to take a moment and thank FBITC at Ramblings of an Unstable Mind and Kari over at I Struggle and Emerge (formerly My Piece of the Net) for being two of the first regulars here at Damnit! Earth. I always enjoy a comment from both of you. Thanks for your continued support. I also want to thank the anonymous visitors from Texas, Egypt, Italy, Colorado, and Boston that have stopped by almost every day for over a year. Hat tip to the people over at Jawa Report, Drudge, Rantburg and whoever keeps linking my blog on CNN. And thanks to you, all the readers who stop by now and then, for reading Damnit! Earth. I hope the blog makes you smile, think, or just forget for a moment all the bad shit that's going on right now out there.

The future of Damnit! Earth looks promising. I've toyed with the idea of creating a public e-mail account for those of you who may like to contact me personally without commenting on the blog. I've also thought about doing a sister blog more about my feelings on the ways of the world without the news articles so look for that somewhere down the line. I'd love for you to check that out if it interests you. I also plan on continuing Damnit! Earth and have no plans on stopping anytime soon so rest assured that if you enjoy what I post, I'll be here for some time more. Thanks again all.

Be good to one another.

Mad Man

Educator shoots animal with nail gun to use it for skinning demonstration

That's why I didn't take "Psychotic Animal Cruelty 101" as an elective.

A high school teacher killed a raccoon with a nail gun after discovering the planned subject of a skinning demonstration was alive.

This is why our country's students are stupid. Cause they're being taught by retards.

Superintendent Alvin Lievsay said a student's parent promised to bring in a raccoon for the exercise, but surprised teacher Jerick Hutchinson by bringing the animal in a live trap. Lievsay said Hutchinson, "who used to work in a slaughter house," took the animal outside to the back of his truck Friday and shot it with the nail gun. Lievsay said no students witnessed the raccoon's death.

I'd watch this guy cause it sounds like only a matter of time before he does this with a hooker.

"He used the nail gun to, as they say, to dispatch the animal," Lievsay said. "It wasn't like he held a nail gun against the head of a cute little animal in front of the class."

No, he held the nail gun against the head of a cute little animal out in the parking lot. That's a whole lot better. I don't want my kids learning from someone without a conscience. Plus, the guy's stupid enough to have an animal brought in from a parent instead of getting it directly from the source that supplies classrooms with carcases for dissection and whatnot. Oh well, whatever, someone give me a nail gun and tell this guy to meet me in the parking lot.

NYU Students Would Give Up Right To Vote: For IPod Touch

Well, at least with the IPod you know you're getting something that's not completely fucking useless.

Most at NYU say their vote has a price. Two-thirds say they'll do it for a year's tuition. And for a few, even an iPod touch will do.

I have a friend who just got his Master's degree in a biological science field. He still thinks evolution is bullshit and the world was created by God only a few tens of thousands of years ago. A couple of weeks ago we had a conversation in which he claimed dinosaurs and man lived together. The point? Just cause you go to college doesn't automatically save you from being a fucking idiot.

That's what NYU students said they'd take in exchange for their right to vote in the next presidential election, a recent survey by an NYU journalism class found.

Look, honestly, it doesn't matter who you vote for anymore. Anyone with the ego to even WANT to lead an entire country is only in it for personal gain and that's going to fuck it up for anybody. I'd trade my vote for a bag of M&Ms.

Only 20 percent said they'd exchange their vote for an iPod touch.

Higher learning, higher standards.

But 66 percent said they'd forfeit their vote for a free ride to NYU. And half said they'd give up the right to vote forever for $1 million.

I'd give up my right to vote for $500. I need the money more than I need to watch the guy I didn't vote for fuck up the country anyway.

But they also overwhelmingly lauded the importance of voting.

30,000 a semister and they're still morons. You go kids, make your parents proud.

Lightning Strike Victim Survives

A few weeks ago I posted a news program screw up one of their stories with the wrong tape. Well, this is the right tape, but still, how am I supposed to compete with the "real" news when they have the ability to pull this shit and be ten times funnier than I can ever hope to be. Oh well, enjoy.

And if you ask me, there's nothing wrong with the tape. Lightning will do that to you.

Prince Harry dumped by Chelsy Davy

"I'm sorry Harry, I just don't see what you have to offer me."

Prince Harry's been dumped. The young royal's girlfriend of three years, Chelsy Davy, broke up with him during a series of recent phone calls, according to British press reports.

What hurts more than losing you first love? Having to read about it in the papers.

The Zimbabwean blond was reportedly fed up with Harry's playboy lifestyle, and was miffed he had opted to skip her 22nd birthday party last month for a rugby match in Paris.

Oh you never miss the birthday Harry, you just don't miss the birthday. Rookie mistake lad.

The Mail on Sunday newspaper reported that Davy told friends it was a trial separation.

Sometimes you marry for love, sometimes for other reasons. Chelsy, this is one of those other reasons. You're an idiot.

"She kept saying she needed to take some time out to reestablish herself. She still loves him, but she feels she needs to carve an identity as her own person rather than as Prince Harry's girlfriend," the paper quoted a friend as saying.

Unless you cure AIDS and cancer, bring peace to the Middle East and somehow stop Bush from pretty much pissing off every living being on the planet, you're always going to be Prince Harry's girlfriend. And, if you don't wise up in the next few days, you'll always be the moron who could have been a Princess but decided to dump a Prince cause he missed the B-Day party and she couldn't let it go.

The party-loving 23-year-old prince isn't sulking. He was spotted Friday night at a London bar, Amika, where he ran up a $5,000 bar bill, including an $800 magnum of Champagne, according to press reports.

Actually, that sounds like sulking. If I had the money I would have ran up the same bill when I got dumped. Don't know if I'd go with the Champagne though. Maybe it's too late there Chelsy. Champagne's for celebrating. Wonder what he's celebrating Chelsy? What could he possibly be celebrating? Were you a bitch Chelsy?

The breakup is the latest bit of bad news for the prince. He was recently told for the second time he would not be posted to the front lines in Afghanistan. Harry, an officer with the Blues and Royals regiment, had hoped to be sent there last month, but military officials vetoed the plan, according to The Mail on Sunday.

So, he doesn't have to go to war, he's free to sleep with other women without hiding it and he's got all the money in the fucking world and not one REAL responsibility. Of yea, bit of a bad luck streak if I've ever heard one.

Harry had previously been barred last May from joining his regiment in Iraq because of threats to his life.

Can't have Harry fighting in a war that may put his life in danger. He'll just have to wait until a pillow-fight war breaks out. Watch the Greeks, they're a little fruity.

Turkish Helicopter Gunships Attack Abandoned Iraqi Villages

Kill all the empty buildings you want guys. Wow, Turkey's crazy.

Turkish helicopter gunships attacked abandoned villages inside Iraq on Tuesday, Iraqi officials said, the first such airstrike since border tensions have escalated in recent months.

I guess this is the helicopter gunship eqivilant of a warning shot.
"Boy wait for them to get back and see all the holes we made. they're going to be so pissed."

Meanwhile, Kurdish guerrillas killed four Turkish soldiers in a clash in southeastern Turkey Tuesday, said Turkey's defense minister. More than 50 Turkish troops have been killed in a series of hit-and-run attacks by Kurdish rebels since late September. Turkey says it has killed dozens of rebels during that time.

Please explain the logic of attacking empty villages. I'm trying to wrap my head around this one.

The airstrikes, the first major action by Turkey against Kurdish rebels since Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan met President Bush in Washington earlier this month, occurred before dawn on abandoned villages near Zakhu, an Iraqi Kurdish town near the border with Turkey, said Col. Hussein Tamir, an Iraqi Army officer who supervises border guards. There were no casualties, he said.

No casualties? Maybe because it was ABANDONED! Sounds like the Turkish army missed one of the major points of warfare here. You see, during fighting like this, you want to attack the enemy when they're around. It's much more fun that way, and productive.

Witnesses said the bombings lasted half an hour in the villages of Nazdori, Kashani and Baashish. "I was on the other side of the mountain when I heard huge explosions and could smell TNT powder all over the area," said 53-year-old shepherd Irbahim Mazori, who sometimes spends a night or two in the villages while tending his sheep.

You guys spent half an hour bombing an empty village? Interesting strategy.

Police shoot, kill man holding hairbrush

Never underestimate some people's fear of having their hair messed up.

Officers shot and killed an 18-year-old man who they believed to be armed, New York police said, but witnesses said Tuesday he was only holding a hairbrush.

Ok, well, never underestimate the stupidity and trigger-happiness of NYPD.

The Monday night shooting followed a 911 call from the man's mother. Police described the situation as "a family dispute with a gun."

"Or hairbrush, not sure which, call was kind of fuzzy."

After officers arrived, the teen refused to halt as he approached police, prompting them to open fire, The Associated Press reported.

No warning shot? How much you want to bet they shot him like seventeen times?

Police told The New York Times they believed the teen, Khiel Coppin, had a gun, but after five officers fired 20 shots they realized he was holding only a hairbrush.

They then fired another 15 times.

"The boy didn't have no gun, he had a brush on him," said Andre Wildman, a neighbor who told CNN that he saw the shooting.

He was black, I bet you he was black. Cops don't kill white people with hairbrushes. They only kill white people that are hanging out with black people.

Another neighbor, Wayne Holder, said police should be required to see a weapon before opening fire on a suspect.

What? Hearing a rumor of a weapon's not good enough to reenact Robocop?

"At least see a gun before you start to discharge it," Holder said. Police "don't even have to see it, [if] they think you got one, you're going to get shot."

This is why they have that put-your-hands-where-I-can-see-them thing. Whenever the cops come to see me, (which is pretty often. I have friends who are cops. What, you think I'm a trouble maker?) I always wrap my hands in Christmas lights and hold them over my head with my fingers outstretched just so there are no "misunderstandings" that may cause me to enter the world beyond just like Tupac.

The AP reported that the teen had a history of mental illness and his mother had tried to have him hospitalized earlier in the day.

Kid crazy? Can't get him hospitalized? Scared of his erratic behavior? Call the cops, tell them he has a gun and the situation should handle itself.

A bystander who said he saw the shooting told CNN affiliate WABC-TV that the man was unarmed. "He dropped the brush," said the bystander, Dyshawn Gibson. "He put his hands up. Police just started firing."

Good thing the guy didn't have a wallet or the shooting would have been worse.

What Really Killed The Dinosaurs?

Terrorism?

Instead of being driven to extinction by death from above, dinosaurs might have ultimately been doomed by death from below in the form of monumental volcanic eruptions.

Volcanoes, that was my next guess.

The suggestion is based on new research that is part of a growing body of evidence indicating a space rock alone did not wipe out the giant reptiles.

It was a natural-sneak attack. The old you-go-high-I'll-go-low routine. First, a meteor smashes the Earth and then, to add insult to injury, a mega-eruption. Guess mother nature got sick of all that dinosaur shit.

The Age of Dinosaurs ended roughly 65 million years ago with the K-T or Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction event, which killed off all dinosaurs save those that became birds, as well as roughly half of all species on the planet, including pterosaurs.

Boy, we could really use another one of those events right about now. I'd say something that kills off about 96% of the worlds population would be good. You know, like a do-over.

The prime suspect in this ancient murder mystery is an asteroid or comet impact, which left a vast crater at Chicxulub on the coast of Mexico.

This asteroid or comet is believed to still be in hiding in the tribal region of Pakistan.

Another leading culprit is a series of colossal volcanic eruptions that occurred between 63 million to 67 million years ago. These created the gigantic Deccan Traps lava beds in India, whose original extent may have covered as much as 580,000 square miles (1.5 million square kilometers), or more than twice the area of Texas.

This is why I'm still out on the global warming thing. I'm not saying it doesn't exist and we shouldn't take steps towards treating our planet a little less like it stole our bikes, I'm just saying today it was fucking cold out and how can I trust scientists to understand the future when they can't even get the past right. I mean, at least past events leave evidence.

Arguments over which disaster killed the dinosaurs often revolve around when each happened and whether extinctions followed. Previous work had only narrowed the timing of the Deccan eruptions to within 300,000 to 500,000 years of the extinction event.

These arguments often break out into brawls, mathematical quizzes and mass Star Trek conventions.

Sunday Sign of Hope November 11th 2007

Veteran's Day

Spanish King Tells Chavez to "Shut Up"

"No you shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"No you!"
"No you!"

The king of Spain told Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to "shut up" Saturday during a heated exchange at a summit of leaders from Latin America, Spain and Portugal.

Good to know mature adults are in charge of things.

Chavez, who called President Bush the "devil" on the floor of the United Nations last year, triggered the exchange by repeatedly referring to former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar as a "fascist."

What's really funny is that someone so obsessed with his own power and so self-centered like Chavez was probably REALLY upset about being told to shut up and not being able to do anything about it.

Aznar, a conservative who was an ally of Bush as prime minister, "is a fascist," Chavez said in a speech at the Ibero-American summit in Santiago, Chile. "Fascists are not human. A snake is more human."

A snake is not human. Sure a facist is an asshole but a snake is not an asshole. That would have made more sense. Chavez...shut up.

Spain's current socialist prime minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, responded during his own allotted time by urging Chavez to be more diplomatic in his words and respect other leaders despite political differences.

Cooler heads prevail.

"Former President Aznar was democratically elected by the Spanish people and was a legitimate representative of the Spanish people," he said, eliciting applause from the gathered heads of state.

Chavez needs a history lesson.

Chavez repeatedly tried to interrupt, but his microphone was off.

Chavez is like that kid in kindergarten that you just know is going to be held back from going into 1st grade cause he keeps eating the glue and claiming Apple starts with the letter G.

Spanish King Juan Carlos, seated next to Zapatero, angrily turned to Chavez and said, "Why don't you shut up?"

"Zip it fucker!"

The Venezuelan leader did not immediately respond, but later used time ceded to him by his close ally Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega to answer Zapatero's speech. "I do not offend by telling the truth," he said. "The Venezuelan government reserves the right to respond to any aggression, anywhere, in any space and in any manner."

Why not tell the whole truth then Chavez, like how you're slowly turning your rule into a dictatorship.

Police Charge Linda Stein's Assistant With Second Degree Murder

Then it's not murder, it's assisted suicide.

A personal assistant to powerhouse New York real estate broker and punk rock impresario Linda Stein admitted to bludgeoning her boss to death with a piece of yoga equipment in her Manhattan apartment after Stein refused to stop blowing marijuana in her face, New York police announced this afternoon.

My friends use to blow marijuana smoke into my face. I used to think of it as a favor and a chance to rest my arms.

Police arrested Natavia Lowery, 26, and charged her with second degree murder in Stein's killing, New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly announced at a press conference.

Killing your boss, the REAL American dream.

Stein, 62, was found dead by her daughter last Tuesday inside her $3 million Fifth Avenue apartment, with visible trauma marks on her head and neck. There was no sign of a forced entry.

Never heard of this woman before, Linda Stein, but I bet she was a bitch. Probably drove her assistant into a rage with abusive bullshit until the assistant snapped and killed her. Why do I jump to that conclusion? Cause Stein had a lot of money and I've never met anyone with a lot of money that didn't deserve to have their head based in with a stick.

The suspect told police that she snapped because of the way Stein was treating her. Lowery "claimed that Stein had been verbally abusive to her," Kelly said, "and on the day of the murder had blown marijuana smoke in her face over her objections."

Now I'm not endorsing beating an verbally abusive boss to death. I'm just saying I understand. You shouldn't do it. But, it's understandable.

Lowery told police that Stein would hold a "yoga stick" in a threatening way while she spoke to Lowery, using "profanity" in a "derogatory" way, Kelly said. The assistant ultimately snapped.

That's not proper use of a yoga stick. Isn't yoga suppose to bring peace and tranquility? And what the fuck is a yoga stick, you know, besides an obviously convenient murder weapon?

"She grabbed the yoga stick from Stein's hands and struck her with it six or seven times," Kelly said, citing from her confession. He described the yoga device as "two sticks that are connected by a cord of some sort" that weighs about 4 pounds.
I should get a yoga stick. My boss has been pissing me off.

Global scare after ecstasy-like chemical found in toy

"Boy, little Bobby sure does love that new toy. He's...humping it."

A scare over a popular toy made in China that was found to contain a chemical similar to the recreational drug liquid ecstasy has spread around the world, with millions of the toys being recalled in Australia and North America.

So this how China plans on taking over the world. By supplying the worlds children with Fisher Price's My First Hallucingenic Experience.

The alert began in Australia and New Zealand where six children fell ill, some of them entering a deep coma, after swallowing small beads that make up the toy, known in that region as Bindeez.

Hold on, I'm going to go check my daughters room before I have to invest in a years supply of glow sticks.

Today, the panic spread to the US and Canada, where the toy, sold there under the brand name Aqua Dots, was removed from thousands of stores after it emerged that two children had been affected by the chemical.

No ectasy for you until your fifteen.

The North American representative of the toy, Spinmaster, said it had pulled it off the shelves "out of an abundance of caution".

Sure it has nothing to do with the fact your toys are creating a few preteen-club-hoppers?

Cow plunges off cliff onto moving minivan

Well I'd jump too if people were always tugging on my nipples.

A cow plunged from a 200-foot (61-metre) cliff onto the hood of a minivan on a highway in central Washington state, according to police.

Wonder if it left a note.

The car's occupants, Charles and Linda Everson, were not hurt in Sunday's accident, but the cow was euthanized at the scene.

The car was flown to the nearest body shop but had to be put down.

"If the cow had fallen a split second later, the animal would have landed right in their laps," said Jeff Middleton, criminal deputy of the Chelan County Sheriff's Department.

Milk, it can crush your car beyond repair and flatten you into the glove compartment.

Pope Meets a Saudi King for First Time

"You know, one of us is going to Hell."

Benedict XVI raised concerns about restrictions on Christian worship in Saudi Arabia on Tuesday in the first meeting ever between a pope and a reigning Saudi king.

All the concerns one could possibly bring up while talking to a leader of a Middle Eastern country and that's the one you bring up?

Benedict and other Vatican officials have often protested that Christians are unable to worship openly in Saudi Arabia and are barred from opening churches in the desert kingdom where Islam's holiest sites, Mecca and Medina, are located.

Anyone who opens a church in Saudi Arabia should have their head examined. I know God would understand why a Saudi Christian worships quietly in their closet.

King Abdullah, the protector of the holy sites, requested the audience during his European tour, the Vatican said. Benedict warmly greeted the king, grasping both his hands before heading into 30 minutes of private talks in his library.

I smell sulfur.

At the end of the meeting, Abdullah presented Benedict with a traditional Middle Eastern gift...

A bomb?

...a golden sword studded with jewels—as well as a gold and silver statue of a palm tree and man riding a camel. The pope admired the statue but merely touched the sword.

It sure does say something about your faith when you sure your appreciation by handing the leader of a peaceful religion a weapon. Christians don't behead people Abdullah...well...not anymore.

Islam is the official religion of Saudi Arabia and the kingdom requires all Saudi citizens to be Muslims. Only Muslims can visit the cities of Mecca and Medina.

All others can only visit the desert and Infidel Mall over on 26th.

Big Chunk Of The Universe Is Missing -- Again

Ok, who keeps stealing the universe? Empty your pockets people.

Not only has a large chunk of the universe thought to have been found in 2002 apparently gone missing again but it is taking some friends with it, according to new research at The University of Alabama in Huntsville (UAH).

Notice how the universe never invites Earth along on these mysterious vacations? That's because no one wants to deal with this fucked up world.

The new calculations might leave the mass of the universe as much as ten to 20 percent lighter than previously calculated.

So when a piece of the universe goes missing what does it leave? An empty void of nothingness? Does the universe shrink in on itself? If so, that means the universe is not infinite, otherwise a piece of it wouldn't go missing. So if the universe isn't infinite what's at the end? A wall? And where does a piece of the universe go? If it disppears it has to go somewhere right? Does it just dissipate into nothingness? An old-universe nursing home? This is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night.

The same UAH group that found what was theorized to be a significant fraction of the "missing mass" that binds together the universe has discovered that some x-rays thought to come from intergalactic clouds of "warm" gas are instead probably caused by lightweight electrons.

What?

If the source of so much x-ray energy is tiny electrons instead of hefty atoms, it is as if billions of lights thought to come from billions of aircraft carriers were found instead to come from billions of extremely bright fireflies.

Huh?

"This means the mass of these x-ray emitting clouds is much less than we initially thought it was," said Dr. Max Bonamente, an assistant professor inUAH's Physics Department. "A significant portion of what we thought was missing mass turns out to be these 'relativistic' electrons."Traveling at almost the speed of light (and therefore "relativistic"), these feather weight electrons collide with photons from the cosmic microwave background. Energy from the collisions converts the photons from low-energy microwaves to high-energy x-rays.

Who?

"The discovery was made while trying to analyze the makeup of warm, x-ray emitting gas at the center of galaxy clusters - the largest cosmological structures in the universe. In 2002 the UAH team reported finding large amounts of extra "soft" (relatively low-energy) x-rays coming from the vast space in the middle of galaxy clusters. This was in addition to previously-discovered "hot" gas in that space, which emits higher energy"hard" x-rays.

I like turtles.

Sunday Sign of Hope November 4th 2007

Anbar leaders stress on partnership with the United States

From KUNA:

Leaders of Anbar province reiterated in their meeting with President George W. Bush the strong partnership with the US forces in Iraq. The Iraqi Minister of State for Foreign Affairs Rafeh Al-Issawi told KUNA that the Anbar delegation stressed in the meeting with Bush on the necessity of a neutral government that represents all Iraqis and that Bush showed special interest in knowing about the negative role of Iran in Iraq.
The Anbar delegation continues its visit to Washington and is now meeting with Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice after meeting with Secretary of Defense Robert Gates earlier this week.
In remarks at the Meridian International Center here in Washington, al-Issawi said that the delegation did not get the chance to meet with Senator Biden, who sponsored the Senate bill on Iraq federation system.
But he added that the delegation asked Bush to send their regards to Biden "who was able to unify Iraqis" in opposing his idea, noting that "the shape of the Iraqi state is decided by Iraqis only".
"Forget about it, no one will divide Iraq", affirmed Bush three times when the delegation asked about his view on this matter, according to al-Issawi.
The head of the Anbar Awakening Council Sheikh Ahmed Abu Risha said that some in the United States want "to divide our country but Iraq is one country".
Sheikh Ahmad affirmed that the Iraqi Minister of Defense is not yet ready to assume security responsibility of the country and referred to what is happening now on Iraqs border with Turkey.
"The Iraqi army is still fragile to protect the country from external influence", he added.
After slipping into the hands of Al-Qaeda in Iraq with a tragic rate of violence, leaders from Anbar started in the last quarter of 2006 a reconciliation process with the Iraqi central government and with coalition forces in Iraq to counter the influence of Al-Qaeda and restore security and stability to their area. President Bush, in return, declared the troops surge in Iraq last January deploying 4,000 US marines in Anbar.
Sheikh Ahmdad argued that "when the Iraqi army becomes national and complete not based on sectarianism then the US army would subsequently withdraw" from Iraq and affirmed "we are not bothered" by the presence of the coalitions forces.
He expressed opposition to "anyone carrying weapons in a non legal manner", noting that he supports Bush position on Iranian influence that is backing up "some political groups in Iraq".
Anbar Governor Maamoun Sami Rashid Al-Awani said that a US withdrawal from Iraq is "against the interests of Iraqis and Americans", disclosing that Anbar province meet on a monthly basis with coalition forces to assess the readiness of local police to assume responsibility.
"When we are convinced of its readiness, we can take the withdrawal decision", he added.

Musharraf Declares Emergency Rule

When is Pakistan not in a state of emergency? Wake me up when Musharraf declares peace and stability.

The Pakistani leader, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, declared a state of emergency on Saturday night, suspending the country’s Constitution, firing the chief justice of the Supreme Court and filling the streets of this capital city with police officers.

Wow, the declaration of emergency sounds like an emergency in itself. Revoking all constitutional rights, firing the chief justice? Sounds like Mushie has everything under control over there.

The move appeared to be an effort by General Musharraf to reassert his fading power in the face of growing opposition from the country’s Supreme Court, political parties and hard-line Islamists. Pakistan’s Supreme Court had been expected to rule within days on the legality of General Musharraf’s re-election last month as the country’s president.

We're never going to get bin Laden.

The emergency act, which analysts and opposition leaders said was more a declaration of martial law, also boldly defied the Bush administration, which had repeatedly urged General Musharraf to avoid such a path and instead move toward democracy.

The world is a toilet. Pakistan is the sewer.

Turkish Foreign Minister Wants US Action Against Kurdish Rebels

We're a little busy right now. Call back later.

Turkish Foreign Minister Ali Babacan said Friday that Turkey wants the United States to stop talking and start taking action to help end cross-border attacks by Kurdish guerrillas in Iraq.

Is it me or do Muslims have a militant group for every fucking country. Is there a country out there that Muslims don't want to act aggressively towards?

"We need to work on actually making things happen," Babacan said at a news conference with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in Ankara. "This is where the words end and action needs to start."

Look, a country telling the US it needs to stop with the diplomacy and start with the action. That's what got us in trouble in the first place.

Rice stopped in the Turkish capital for emergency meetings with senior Turkish officials, including Babacan, Prime Minister Recip Tayyip Erdogan and President Abdullah Gul, ahead of an Iraq conference with regional foreign ministers Saturday in Istanbul.

"I was in the neighborhood..."

Rice and Babacan described their meeting as cordial and indicated that discussions would continue when Erdogan meets with President Bush in Washington on Monday. But Turkey made clear that it is losing patience with what it sees as insufficient efforts by the United States and Iraq to eliminate attacks by the Kurdistan Workers' Party (PKK).

Oh get in fucking line. Everyone's losing patience with our administration and you're just going to have to wait your turn.

Pilot of Enola Gay dies

Peacefully in his bed ironically.

Paul Tibbets, the American bomber pilot whose plane Enola Gay dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, has died.

Last words? " I am Jack the Ripper."

He was 92 and insisted almost to the end he had no regrets about the mission and slept just fine at night.

In a bomb shelter.

Paul Tibbets polarised the world - some say he was a hero, others branded him a war criminal. Tibbets himself characterised his actions as that of an officer carrying out his duty.

All I know is this. If there is a heaven and St. Peter really is waiting at the gates, he's probably got some explaining to do.

London Police Guilty in Shooting Goof

Goof? There's no such thing as a shooting goof. There's a birthday goof, people "goof up" the time the party stops. In this case, police shot an innocent man seven times in the head. That's not a goof. That's not even a fuck up. I don't think we've made a word to describe exactly what that is so lets just call it a catastrofuck.

The police might normally be expected to celebrate a guilty verdict, but the outcome of the trial that concluded Thursday at London's Old Bailey courthouse caused consternation among the city's law enforcement officers. That's because the defendant was London's Metropolitan police force, in the dock over the death of Jean Charles de Menezes — the Brazilian electrician who was shot seven times in the head by police in a London underground station on July 22, 2005, in the tense atmosphere that followed the terror attacks on the city's transport system two weeks earlier and a failed attack the previous day. Standing outside the court after the verdict was delivered, Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair acknowledged that de Menezes' death was "a tragedy," adding, "He was an innocent man."

How come when police accidentally shoot an innocent person it's never one shot to the leg or a warning shot that hits the suspect in the hand? It's always two full clips center mass, a couple more to the face and a grenade thrown in for good measure. They were trying to stop what they thought was a suicide bomber not a fucking rabid polar bear.

Despite the verdict, the Brazilian's family and human rights campaigners say the trial failed to answer the question of why de Menezes was killed.

I'd say the seven bullets to the head had something to do with it. Why did the police do it? Too much Grand Theft Auto?

The Crown Prosecution Service decided there was insufficient evidence to charge individual officers with the shooting, and instead brought a case under health and safety legislation on the surreal grounds that the police had "failed to provide for the health, safety and welfare" of de Menezes and other members of the public.

Yes, killing someone in the streets does put a damper on that whole public health, safety and welfare thing.