Friday, November 09, 2007

Police Charge Linda Stein's Assistant With Second Degree Murder

Then it's not murder, it's assisted suicide.

A personal assistant to powerhouse New York real estate broker and punk rock impresario Linda Stein admitted to bludgeoning her boss to death with a piece of yoga equipment in her Manhattan apartment after Stein refused to stop blowing marijuana in her face, New York police announced this afternoon.

My friends use to blow marijuana smoke into my face. I used to think of it as a favor and a chance to rest my arms.

Police arrested Natavia Lowery, 26, and charged her with second degree murder in Stein's killing, New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly announced at a press conference.

Killing your boss, the REAL American dream.

Stein, 62, was found dead by her daughter last Tuesday inside her $3 million Fifth Avenue apartment, with visible trauma marks on her head and neck. There was no sign of a forced entry.

Never heard of this woman before, Linda Stein, but I bet she was a bitch. Probably drove her assistant into a rage with abusive bullshit until the assistant snapped and killed her. Why do I jump to that conclusion? Cause Stein had a lot of money and I've never met anyone with a lot of money that didn't deserve to have their head based in with a stick.

The suspect told police that she snapped because of the way Stein was treating her. Lowery "claimed that Stein had been verbally abusive to her," Kelly said, "and on the day of the murder had blown marijuana smoke in her face over her objections."

Now I'm not endorsing beating an verbally abusive boss to death. I'm just saying I understand. You shouldn't do it. But, it's understandable.

Lowery told police that Stein would hold a "yoga stick" in a threatening way while she spoke to Lowery, using "profanity" in a "derogatory" way, Kelly said. The assistant ultimately snapped.

That's not proper use of a yoga stick. Isn't yoga suppose to bring peace and tranquility? And what the fuck is a yoga stick, you know, besides an obviously convenient murder weapon?

"She grabbed the yoga stick from Stein's hands and struck her with it six or seven times," Kelly said, citing from her confession. He described the yoga device as "two sticks that are connected by a cord of some sort" that weighs about 4 pounds.
I should get a yoga stick. My boss has been pissing me off.


Blogger f.b.i.t.c. said...

Soooooo, basically she beat the shit out of her boss with a pair of Nunchucks.

Sounds fair to me.

And the 'No signs of forced entry' means she didn't stick the damned things up her arse afterwards.

She's free to go.

November 12, 2007 1:46 AM  

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