US says military hotline with China likely within weeks

Let the prank calls begin.

The United States and China aim to set up a telephone hotline between their militaries within a month following an agreement signed Friday, the US defence department said.

"For the last time, I'm not bringing you any fried rice!"

The deal was signed in Shanghai alongside another one giving the United States access to China's military archives to search for missing servicemen from the Korean War and other conflicts, the official said.

Better late than never I guess.

"We welcome this important step forward in enhancing communication between our militaries," the US defence department said in a statement. "The (hotline) will be a useful tool to make contact quickly, clarify issues, and avoid miscalculations."

"Hey Bill, it's Lei"
"Hey Lei, how are you."
"Not too bad. Say Bill, did you just fire a nuclear warhead at Beijing?"
"Umm...hold on Lei, I have another call."

Lucky Soldier Wins $1 Million

What is a hero? This is a hero.

From ABC News:

After completing two tours in Iraq, Sgt. Wayne Leyde won $1 million from a scratch-and-win lotto ticket on Tuesday.

Now that he's won, Leyde, a 26-year-old member of the Washington National Guard, says he's still going to volunteer to go back to Iraq for a third tour and won't spend any of the money in the meantime.

Leyde was driving near his home in Mead, Washington when he stopped at a store on the side of the road and bought a ticket.

"I decided to walk into a local Zip Trip. I got a Coke and beef jerky and walked up to the counter and thought I'd pick up a few scratch tickets and try my luck. I was on my way out when the lady said, 'Do you have a lucky scratch coin?'
"I said 'no, you gave me a dime and nickel back.'"

"She said 'no, try this,'" handing Leyde a penny. "On my way home I started scratching tickets. They were losers. I'm thinking, boy, that lady didn't know what she was talking about."

Leyde couldn't believe it when he scratched a winning ticket, but he still plans to return to Iraq.

"It was a commitment I made about three months ago. I'm going to stick to it," Leyde said about his decision.

The sergeant says rents have gone sky high where he and his parents live in the Mount Spokane area of Washington and that, for now, he's not going to spend any of the money.

"For right now, I'm going to hold off [spending] and let reality sink back to earth. This is a true blessing. I'm going to turn it around and see if I can bless other people with this," Leyde said.

I would say to this man that your duty is done and he should enjoy his winnings and the rest of his life, knowing he served his country well. He wouldn't listen. Hero's rarely do.

Ohio school suspends boy over Mohawk

Did I miss something? Did the US stop being a free country while I was sleeping?

A kindergarten student with a freshly spiked Mohawk has been suspended from school. Michelle Barile, the mother of 6-year-old Bryan Ruda, said nothing in the Parma Community School handbook prohibits the haircut, characterized by closely shaved sides with a strip of prominent hair on top. The school said the hair was a distraction for other students.

Kids in kindergarten are distracted by flashing lights, loud noises and movement as well. As a matter of fact, kids that age can't pay attention to anything for longer than ten minutes at a time. So you're going to deprive a child of arguably the most important grade-level education cause other kids can't stop staring at his head? Perhaps instead this would be a good time to teach the acceptance of something different from the norm and how, as human beings, we shouldn't judge or punish anyone a bit different than the rest of us. Great example you're setting. Morons.

"I understand they have a dress code. I understand he has a uniform. But this is total discrimination," she said. "They can't tell me how I can cut his hair."

Get this kid back in school. If his mom wants him to look like a 1980's punk rocker that's her right. He'll hate her later for it.

An administrator at the suburban Cleveland charter school first warned Barile last fall that the haircut wasn't acceptable. The school later sent another warning to her reiterating the ban.

It's a haircut. Loosen the fuck up.

Mohawks violate the school's policy on being properly groomed, school Principal Linda Geyer said.

Properly groomed by who's standards? I was unaware that Linda Geyer, school principal in Ohio was the leading expert in human grooming.

Rather than request a hearing to appeal the suspension, Barile said she'll enroll him at another school. Changing the hairstyle is not an option, she said. "It's something that he really likes," Barile said. "When people hear Mohawk, they think it's long, it's spiked, it's crazy looking, and it's really not."

There's no hope for the future when we all concentrate on this trival situations. Do you honestly think that these children won't experience distractions later on in life. Wouldn't this be a good time to teach them how to deal with distraction. Removal of distraction is rarely an option. You can't make problems go away, especially in adulthood. Usually because those distractions and problems are other people. And that's called murder. It's illegal. Isn't the entire purpose of education to prepare the young for adulthood. Instead, we shield the young from the reality of adulthood as long as we possibly can. This is why so many kids coming out of school are completely lost. In a few decades, the entire adult population of this country will not know how to deal with life in general. Good work everyone, we've kept them safe. For now.

Pet Sterilization Becomes Law in Los Angeles

This is bad news if you're covered in fur.

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa on Tuesday signed one of the nation's toughest laws on pet sterilization, requiring most dogs and cats to be spayed or neutered by the time they are 4 months old.

However, stupid people will still be allowed to breed uncontrollably.

The ordinance is aimed at reducing and eventually eliminating the thousands of euthanizations conducted in Los Angeles' animal shelters every year.

So make sure you spay your pets. Well, actually, get a vet to do it. Don't do it yourself. Trust me, it's not easy. And talk about messy.

"We will, sooner rather than later, become a no-kill city and this is the greatest step in that direction," Councilman Tony Cardenas said as he held a kitten at a City Hall news conference.

"That is, we won't be killing pets. Gang violence however will continue."

Councilman Richard Alarcon, who like Cardenas is a co-author of the bill, brought his two pet Chihuahuas to the event to be neutered in a van operated by the city.

Neuter-vans. That's...worrisome.

2 Stabbed During Horror Movie

The 3-D movie experience has gotten out of control.

Two people were stabbed at a Fullerton, CA movie house during the screening of a horror film on Sunday night. Police are still seraching for the suspect.

Freddy? Jason? Michael Myers? Chucky? The suspects are endless.

The victims, who reportedly did not know each other, were sitting in separate areas of the same theater when they were attacked around 7:30 p.m. at the AMC Theater on Lemon St., Fullerton police Sgt. Eric Halverson said.

So no one saw the knife-weidling maniac running around the theater?

The stabbings took place approximately 45 minutes into the showing of "The Signal," an R-rated suspense/horror film. The suspect, who was described as a white male, fled out of one of the back doors, he said.

"Wow...it feels like I'm in the movie. Call 911."

One of the victims was hospitalized with a stab wound to the arm, which also punctured one of his lungs, but he was expected to survive, Schoen said. The other victim suffered a non-life threatening stab wound to the arm, he added.

Look, I don't play twenty bucks to see a movie and get fucking stabbed.

Police believe the attacker may be the same individual who had been kicked out of the theater that same day -- an intoxicated man who was very disruptive during a movie, Schoen said.

Way to keep the eye on the ball guys. This guy got back in the same fucking day?

Teen Shot During Snowball Fight Dies

When I was a youngster, there was always that one kid, that one asshole, who put ice or rocks inside their snowballs to make them hurt so much more. We would yell at the whoever the prick was, send him home, punch him in the face. However, we never shot him. Cause it's just a snowball. Just a FUCKING snowball.

A Philadelphia teenager celebrating his 16th birthday was shot and killed over an errant snowball.

And as a species we are getting worse and worse. Maybe we should just let Global Warming do its thing. Seriously, is there any really, really good reasons for our species to continue? Think hard about that.

Authorities said the Feltonville teen, identified as Tavin Rutledge Wilson, was shot in the head at point-blank range while playing with neighborhood friends in the 4800 block of D Street on Sunday afternoon.

So now it's not safe to play in the snow anymore. Great. We all might as well be living in bomb shelters.

Witnesses say the shooting was sparked from a casual snowball fight amongst children.

I just don't know what else to say about this.

A friend of Tavin's, who was also involved in the playful snowball fight, said the shooting happened after a wayward snowball accidentally struck a nearby neighbor.

Police said the adult male became enraged and left the scene, returning moments later with a gun.

Witnesses say Tavin's effort to apologize to the man went unnoticed and the man pulled out a gun and began firing.

Family and friends celebrating Tavin's birthday heard gunshots and found him bleeding on the front porch.

"We ran outside and saw Tavin laying on the step," said the victim's friend Mercedes Lebron. "When I picked him up, smoke stared coming out of his head … He still was breathing and we told him keep breathing, calm down."

Tavin was rushed to Temple University hospital where he was taken off life-support. At 11:30 a.m. Monday, with his family by his side, Tavin passed away.

Everyone who knew Tavin, described as a well-liked boy, is trying to cope with the senseless shooting. "It was just a snowball fight," said neighbor Catherine Briggs.

Tavin's family is trying to remain strong in the wake of the senseless tragedy.

"He didn't get a chance to get married, he didn't get a chance to have children," Tavin's father Keith said.

Philadelphia police detectives said they are actively searching for the gunman who they believe is a resident of the same neighborhood.

I say when you find him, maybe it's not that important he goes to trial. Maybe he struggles a bit too much, maybe the world is better off not having to pay for this individual to rot in prison. Maybe.

Sunday Sign of Hope February 24th 2008

Bali bomb maker Dulmatin found in shallow grave

From News.com.au:

THE terrorist who built the bombs used in the 2002 Bali atrocity is believed to have been killed in the Philippines.

The body of a man thought to be Indonesian bomb expert Dulmatin, one of those behind the Bali bombings, was recovered from a shallow grave in the island of Tawi-tawi, said Major General Ben Dolorfino.

He is believed to have built the devices used in the 2002 Bali atrocity, in which 202 people were killed including 88 Australians.

"As of now, we are conducting DNA test to confirm if it is really his body," said Dolorfino, adding that an informant had led them to the grave.

$5 million bounty

The US Government has offered a US$5 million bounty for Dulmatin, who has been hiding out in the southern Philippines with local militants for most of the past five years.

Dulmatin was reported to have been wounded in a clash with government troops in the south on January 31.

Urinary tract infections may come from pets

This mean I shouldn't pee on my dog?

Picking up an E. coli bug from your pet might lead to a urinary tract infection, according to Minneapolis-based researchers.

Good thing I always submerge my dog in bleach before petting him.

"Sharing of E. coli strains among humans and pets within a household, including strains that can cause urinary tract infections, is extremely common," Dr. James R. Johnson told Reuters Health.

Damn dog making it hurt when I pee.

Johnson and his colleagues at the University of Minnesota investigated the extent to which E. coli strains were shared between humans and pets in 63 households. They identified 152 people, 48 dogs, 26 cats, and 2 other animals that had stool samples that tested positive for E. coli. Five of the humans had an acute urinary tract infection.

You guys have nothing better to do, do you?

Man Robbed Of $100K In Midtown Attack

Walking around with that kind of cash on you is just asking for trouble.

A gunman dragged a man down a sidewalk, beating him with a pistol, after fighting over a black bag in front of a Starbucks cafe blocks from Central Park on Friday, police and witnesses said.

Sounds like someone knew what was in the black bag.

The victim, a man in his 50s, was hospitalized in stable condition after the attack, which happened just after 2 p.m. three blocks south of the park near Sixth Avenue and 56th Street. The New York Police Department said he may have been grazed by a bullet or pistol-whipped in the head; some witnesses said a gunman shot him in the street before fleeing.

I really want someone to explain to me why this man had $100K on him. I barely have 20 bucks in my wallet.

Based on preliminary information, it appeared as though the victim had just withdrawn tens of thousands of dollars from a nearby bank, a law enforcement source told WNBC.com.

I'd look over those bank videos.

Witnesses said they saw the two men fighting over a black duffel bag in front of the cafe. The younger man then dragged the victim -- who was clinging to the bag -- down the street, beating him in the head with the gun, witnesses said.

Just let go of the bag buddy. Is your life worth $100K? Well, yeah, it probably is, but either way, the guy with the gun is always going to win those physical struggles.

Police were searching a suspect they described as a man between 25 and 30 years old who was wearing a black parka, black pants is about five feet 9 inches tall.

That should narrow the search down. Just look for the idiot who pays for a new car out of his price range in cash in the next two-three days.

Pentagon Is Confident Missile Hit Satellite Tank

I can rest easy now knowing that I'm safe from having a satellite fall on me. Now, how are we doing on that other danger, you know, terrorism?

Just hours after a Navy missile interceptor struck a dying spy satellite orbiting 130miles over the Pacific Ocean, a senior military officer expressed high confidence early Thursday that a tank filled with toxic rocket fuel had been breached.

The satellite is about the size of a school bus. If you hit a school bus with a missile, you're pretty much guarenteed to destroy the fuel tank. Now, I understand that a satellite is probably a lot stronger than a school bus since it has to be able to withstand the harshness of space but how strong are our missiles if we can hit this thing and wonder if we breached the fuel tank?

Video of the unusual operation showed the missile leaving a bright trail as it streaked toward the satellite, and then a flash, a fireball, a plume and a cloud as the interceptor, at a minimum, appeared to have found its target, a satellite that went dead shortly after being launched in 2006.

Perhaps when we launch something with toxic gas into outerspace we should make sure it's going to fucking work right. Just to avoid having to play real-life space invaders.

“We’re very confident that we hit the satellite,” said Gen. James E. Cartwright of the Marines, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “We also have a high degree of confidence that we got the tank.”

Well, there was an explosion according to the video so if we didn't hit the satellite, what the fuck exploded?

Brain-Reading Headset to Sell for $299

I'm not paying that much to have my brain read.

Hands cramping up from too many video games? How about controlling games with your thoughts instead? Later this year, Emotiv Systems Inc. plans to start selling the $299 EPOC neuroheadset to let you do just that.

Great, so the next time I'm trying to beat a frustrating level and I die for the twentieth time cause of some stupid little glitch in the game I'll get so mad my television will explode. I'll buy a brain-reader when it applies to everyday life instead of video games and I can make things move with my mind.

The headset's sensors are designed to detect conscious thoughts and expressions as well as "non-conscious emotions" by reading electrical signals around the brain, says the company, which demonstrated the wireless gadget at the Game Developers Conference in San Francisco.

I don't want anything reading my brain. Trust me, it ain't pretty in there. Last thing I need is for Donkey Kong to judge me.

The company, which unveiled a prototype last year, says the headset can detect emotions such as anger, excitement and tension, as well as facial expressions and cognitive actions like pushing and pulling objects.

I'm not plugging my brain into any video system unless it's pornographic. Umm...I think I went too far.

Kosovo's freedom is worth clash with Russia

Says who?

Confrontation with Russia is a price worth paying for Kosovo's independence, a senior Western official said yesterday.

Can we please stop clashing with everybody at the same fucking time. Can't we space our clashes out a few years?

Kosovo's unilateral declaration of independence on Sunday has sparked major diplomatic divisions around the world, and sporadic violence in the Balkans.

Well, what can you expect? No country gains independence without bloodshed, struggle and diplomatic squabbling.

Serb nationalists destroyed two checkpoints on Kosovo's new border with Serbia yesterday, causing Nato troops to intervene for the first time since the split from Belgrade.

"Hey! Cut that out!"

But a senior diplomatic source in Pristina said that "Europe has stood up and been counted" by backing Kosovo's independence.

"Now we're going to sit back down and be quiet."

It had done so despite "Russian muscle flexing" as Moscow sought to maintain influence in the Balkans and support its key ally in the region, Serbia. The Western official said: "We wanted to do it [work towards Kosovo's independence] with Russian co-operation. But the Russians chose not to. But it is worth sorting out Kosovo even so."

World ain't doing so great lately huh. Congrats to Kosovo for declaring independence, and condolences for what's bound to fucking happen.

Illness forces Castro to quit after half a century in power

Nothing lasts forever, except bad marriages, they go on for-fucking-ever.

Fidel Castro, leader of Cuba for almost half a century, stepped down as president yesterday in a move that raised the prospect of the opening-up one of the world's last communist states.

I'm interested in how this will play out in Cuba. Ok, you caught me, I couldn't care less.

Castro, 81, who has been in worsening health since July 2006, released a letter in the dead of night on the website of the official communist party newspaper Granma that announced his intention to end his long domination. Cubans awoke yesterday to find that the era that began near the start of the cold war was over.

Granma? I have a granma. I love her.

The announcement comes just days before Cuba's national assembly is due to meet to select a head of state and is expected to pave the way for Castro's brother Raúl to officially become the new leader. Raúl Castro, 76, has been the effective leader of Cuba since an acute infection in his brother's colon forced him to temporarily cede power. Raúl is the world's longest serving defence minister and is believed to have a firm grip on the armed forces and security apparatus.

Oh come on, at 76 years old, how firm a grip could he actually have?

Mysterious Creatures Found in Antarctica

Penguins?

Scientists investigating the icy waters of Antarctica said Tuesday they have collected mysterious creatures including giant sea spiders and huge worms in the murky depths.

Cool.

Australian experts taking part in an international program to take a census of marine life in the ocean at the far south of the world collected specimens from up to 6,500 feet beneath the surface, and said many may never have been seen before.

Wonder who's going to be the first moron to accidentally discover they're venomous.

Some of the animals far under the sea grow to unusually large sizes, a phenomenon called gigantism that scientists still do not fully understand.

More room, lots of food, larger animals. Shit guys I didn't even go to college and I can make a guess-timate on that one.

"Gigantism is very common in Antarctic waters," Martin Riddle, the Australian Antarctic Division scientist who led the expedition, said in a statement.

It's also very popular amongts wealthy housewives and people in Texas.

Sunday Sign of Hope February 17th 2008

Kitten Found After 25 Days in NYC Subway

From AP:

A skittish kitten that scampered out of its carrier on a subway platform has been found after 25 days in the underground tunnels.

Transit workers tracked down 6-month old Georgia under midtown Manhattan Saturday. Police reunited her with owner Ashley Phillips, a 24-year-old Bronx librarian.

After hearing that the black cat might have been spotted below Lexington Avenue and East 55th Street, track workers Mark Dalessio and Efrain LaPorte went through the area making "meow" sounds.

Georgia responded, and they found her cowering in a drain between two tracks.

Georgia had lost some weight and scratched her nose but was otherwise unhurt. She had disappeared while Phillips was bringing her home from a veterinarian visit last month.

U.S. vows to pay for damage caused by satellite

But what if it hits me in the face?

The United States pledged on Friday to compensate countries if debris lands on their territory from a dying U.S. spy satellite that the Pentagon plans to shoot down.

"Here's $20 bucks, sorry about your house."

Ambassador Christina Rocca said that if efforts fail to strike the satellite with a missile while it is still in space, it was expected to make an "uncontrolled re-entry into the earth's atmosphere on or about March 6".

Mark the calendar and spend the day in your basement, under some bricks.

The satellite is carrying more than 1,000 pounds (454 kg) of hydrazine fuel, and could release much of it as a toxic gas, according to Deputy U.S. National Security Adviser James Jeffrey.

This is going to end badly, I feel it.

University shooter interested in 'peace, social justice'

Wow, he kind of went the other way with that didn't he.

Northern Illinois University on Friday identified the man who fatally shot five people in a classroom as Steven P. Kazmierczak, whom police described as an award-winning student "revered" by colleagues and faculty.

Oh no, they have no music, movies, or video games to blame. No trenchcoats, no Islamic radicalism, not even just failing grades. Where are they going to point their finger now?

Kazmierczak, 27, who police said shot 21 people before shooting and killing himself, was an award-winning sociology student and a leader of a campus criminal justice group, according to school Web sites.

I guess sometimes you just can't keep the mask on long enough. If you relate to that, go get help. I did.

Concealing a shotgun in a guitar case, and tucking three other guns under his coat, Kazmierczak walked into a geology class in an NIU lecture hall Thursday afternoon and began firing, police said. The graduate student stopped to reload his shotgun before he took his own life, police said.

Well, he couldn't take his own life with an empty shotgun. Go on.

Kazmierczak was a student about 175 miles away at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, police said, and there "were no red flags" warning of any violent behavior.

How about the fact he had four weapons in his possession? They didn't magically appear in his coat and guitar case. Someone had to know he was holding these weapons. That always throws the red flag up for me.

Carter-Black and Chris Larrison -- another School of Social Work associate professor who knew Kazmierczak -- described the gunman as pleasant, considerate and flexible.

"He stopped by to shoot me but it wasn't a good time and he agreed to come back in ten and shoot me then."

He was lightening his course load so he could take on a position in the prison system, she said.

Guess he didn't want that position after all.

Deputies dump paralyzed man from wheelchair

"You're blocking the fire exit!"

Four sheriff's deputies have been suspended after purposely tipping a paralyzed man out of his wheelchair onto a jailhouse floor, authorities said.

I can't wait to hear the explanation for this one.

Surveillance footage from Jan. 29 shows Hillsborough County Deputy Charlette Marshall-Jones, 44, dumping Brian Sterner out of his wheelchair and searching him on the floor after he was brought in on a warrant after a traffic violation.

Should he be driving?

Sterner, 32, said when he was taken into a booking room and told to stand up, Jones grew agitated when he told her that he could not.

Don't know if you've noticed officer, but that isn't a growth on his ass, it's a wheelchair, one of the first signs of a persons inability to stand up, hence the wheels.

"She was irked that I wasn't complying to what she was telling me to do," he told The Tampa Tribune in Tuesday's edition. "It didn't register with her that she was asking me to do something I can't do."

These are the people patroling our streets. Wonderful.

Sterner can drive a car but has not been able to walk since a 1994 wrestling accident. He has no feeling below his sternum and has partial use of his arms.

Then how the hell does he drive a car. I guess not too well, hence the traffic violation.

Jones has been suspended without pay, and Sgt. Gary Hinson, 51, Cpl. Steven Dickey, 45 and Cpl. Decondra Williams, 36 have also been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation, sheriff's spokeswoman Debbie Carter said.

You have to wonder what these people are thinking. I mean, they have to know they are on videotape in their own station. It's basic common sense that you just don't push someone out of a wheelchair in public. That's something best saved for private residences, dark alley's and stairwells.

"The actions are indefensible at every level," Chief Deputy Jose Docobo said. "Based on what I saw, anything short of dismissal would be inappropriate."

Agreed.

A woman who answered Jones' telephone said Jones was unavailable.

"She's out back throwing things at blind children."

Bahrainian Doctors Successfully Remove Nail From Man's Penis

No, no, you're supposed to hold the nail steady with your HAND before hitting it with the hammer.

Doctors successfully removed a 2-inch nail from an Indian man’s genitals after he admitted himself to a hospital due to abdominal pain and the inability to speak, the Bahrain Gulf Daily News reported Wednesday.

Yup, a nail in the penis will leave you speechless.

An X-ray of the man, who was not identified, showed the nail lodged in his urethra. The victim claimed that the nail had been inserted by a gang of thieves who attacked and robbed him three days earlier, the paper reported.

"For the love of God just take the wallet!"
And I would question why it took him three fucking days to get looked at after some guys shoved a nail in his penis but I guess if that happened to me I'd be slow moving too.

To make matters worse...

Doubt it can get worse.

Dr. Ashwani Narang told the paper that the victim, who was an illegal worker, could face deportation.

Nope, not worse than a nail in the penis.

Hezbollah's Moughniyah killed in Syria blast

In case you don't know, this is Imad Moughniyah, who has been wanted by the United States and about 39 other countries for years. He's a bad, bad man. Well, not anymore.

Lebanese group Hezbollah says one of its leaders, Imad Mughniyeh, has been killed in a bombing in Damascus, and blamed Israel for assassinating him.

Mughniyeh is widely believed to be behind a wave of Western hostage-taking in Lebanon in the 1980s.

Correspondents say he had been in hiding for years and was high on US and Israeli wanted lists.

There has been not been any word about the incident from either the Syrian or Israeli governments.

Syrian police kept media and other onlookers well away from the scene of the blast in the well-to-do Kafar Soussa district.

"Scores of police and intelligence officers rushed to the site. People in the neighbourhood are shocked. We are not used to such things in Syria," said one resident quoted by Reuters news agency.

"We saw security officers hauling the body away," said one witnesses quoted by Reuters news agency.

Damascus has witnessed a number of bomb attacks in recent years, some blamed on Israel and others on Islamic militants.

Mughniyeh was among several suspects indicted in the US for the 1985 hijacking of a TWA airliner in which a US Navy diver was killed.

Hezbollah-owned Manar TV in Beirut announced the death saying: "With all pride we declare a great jihadist leader of the Islamic resistance in Lebanon joining the martyrs... the brother commander hajj Imad Mughniyeh".

Hours after the blast, Syrian state TV confirmed one person had been killed in a car bombing, but did not identify the victim.

Climate change may kill thousands in UK by 2017

Well, good luck over there.

There is a 25 percent chance that a severe heat wave will strike England and kill more than 6,000 people before 2017 if no action is taken to deal with the health effects of climate change, a report said on Tuesday.

Shake me when the possiblity reaches around 50 percent. And start stocking up on water around 2010, mark the calendar.

The report for Britain's Department of Health estimated more than 3,000 people could die in an intense summer hot spell in southeast England, with just as many more dying from heat-related deaths over the summer.

Panic!

Until 2012, when London stages the summer Olympic Games, the odds of thousands dying in summer heat each year will be 1 in 40, the report said, and thousands more could die each year as a result of other effects of global warming and air pollution.

I got ten bucks that says nowhere near 1,000 people die over the next few summers in the UK. Sorry for being skeptical but I just can't trust these "reports" when they can't even get the weather right on a day by day basis.

Amazing moment the world's biggest Christ was struck by lightning

He must not be a fan of our work.

The world's largest statue of Jesus was hit by lightning. The bolt parted the thunderclouds over Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, to strike Christ the Redeemer.

Amaziningly, he recovered.

Military Prosecutors Will Seek Death for Sept. 11 Suspects

Is there anyway I can help?

The Pentagon announced today that it has charged six detainees at the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, military prison with conspiring to carry out the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks and that military prosecutors will seek the death penalty for each.

Hear that? Sounds like justice rolling down the hill.

In a news conference, Air Force Brig. Gen. Thomas W. Hartmann, a Defense Department legal adviser, said the six, including alleged Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed, are charged with conspiracy, murder in violation of the law of war, attacking civilians and terrorism, among other offenses. He said a charge sheet details 169 overt acts alleged to have been committed by the defendants and uncharged co-conspirators in furtherance of the Sept. 11 plot.

While this news sure does give me a warm fuzzy, I'm not celebrating until all the al-qaeda leaders (ahem...bin Laden and Zawahiri to start) are either sitting in a cell awaiting judgment by the AMERICAN legal system or are blown into little tiny bits of Islamic radicals (which stain by the way). Then I'll be happy. Although, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has overstayed his welcome on this planet by about five years now.

Here's the other five awaiting a firing squad (hopefully, but probably just get a needle in the butt which is too painless for these people):

The other men facing charges for the Sept. 11 plot are Walid Muhammad bin Attash, Ramzi Binalshibh, Ali Abdul Aziz Ali, Mustafa Ahmed al-Hawsawi and Mohammed al-Qahtani.

Sunday Sign of Hope February 10th 2008

Al-Qaeda leaders admit: 'We are in crisis. There is panic and fear'

From Times Online:

Al-Qaeda in Iraq faces an “extraordinary crisis”. Last year's mass defection of ordinary Sunnis from al-Qaeda to the US military “created panic, fear and the unwillingness to fight”. The terrorist group's security structure suffered “total collapse”.

These are the words not of al-Qaeda's enemies but of one of its own leaders in Anbar province — once the group's stronghold. They were set down last summer in a 39-page letter seized during a US raid on an al-Qaeda base near Samarra in November.

The US military released extracts from that letter yesterday along with a second seized in another November raid that is almost as startling.

That second document is a bitter 16-page testament written last October by a local al-Qaeda leader near Balad, north of Baghdad. “I am Abu-Tariq, emir of the al-Layin and al-Mashahdah sector,” the author begins. He goes on to describe how his force of 600 shrank to fewer than 20.

“We were mistreated, cheated and betrayed by some of our brothers,” he says. “Those people were nothing but hypocrites, liars and traitors and were waiting for the right moment to switch sides with whoever pays them most.”

Assuming the two documents are authentic — and the US military insists that they are — they provide a rare insight into an organisation thrown into turmoil by the rise of the Awakening movement. More than 80,000 Sunnis have joined the tribal groups of “concerned local citizens” [CLCs] that have helped to eject al-Qaeda from swaths of western and northern Iraq, including much of Baghdad.

US intelligence officials cautioned, however, that the documents were snapshots of two small areas and that al-Qaeda was far from a spent force.

They said that while the number of car bombs had fallen over the past year, the organisation had doubled its attacks on CLC members since October. More than 20 people were killed last night when a suicide car bomber attacked a checkpoint near Balad.

Al-Qaeda gunmen stormed a compound of an “Awakening” group in Iraq's northern Nineveh province yesterday, the US military said. Among those killed in the fighting were 10 suspected Al-Qaeda in Iraq fighters.

The Anbar letter conceded that the “crusaders” — Americans — had gained the upper hand by persuading ordinary Sunnis that al-Qaeda was responsible for their suffering and by exploiting their poverty to entice them into the security forces. Al-Qaeda's “Islamic State of Iraq is faced with an extraordinary crisis, especially in al-Anbar”, the unnamed emir admitted.

In an apparent reference to al-Qaeda's brutal tactics, he said of the Americans and their Sunni allies: “We helped them to unite against us . . . The Americans and the apostates launched their campaigns against us and we found ourselves in a circle not being able to move, organise or conduct our operations.”

He said of the loss of Anbar province: “This created weakness and psychological defeat. This also created panic, fear and the unwillingness to fight. The morale of the fighters went down . . . There was a total collapse in the security structure of the organisation.” The emir complained that the supply of foreign fighters had dwindled and that they found it increasingly hard to operate inside Iraq because they could not blend in. Foreign suicide bombers determined to kill “not less than 20 or 30 infidels” grew disillusioned because they were kept hanging about and only given small operations. Some gave up and went home.

Finally the emir recommended rewards for killing apostates, using doctors to kill infidels and offering gifts to tribal leaders. He said al-Qaeda's fighters should be sent to more promising areas such as Diyala province or Baghdad — which is exactly what happened.

Rear-Admiral Gregory Smith, the US military spokesman in Baghdad, called Abu-Tariq's testament a “woe-is-me kind of document”. It calls the Sunnis who switched sides a “cancer in the body of al-Jihad movement”, and declares: “We should have no mercy on them.”

The author lists those who have made off with al-Qaeda weapons or money, describes the group's arsenal, including C5 rockets, which are used against helicopters, and records the fate of the battalions under his command.

Most of the first battalion's fighters “betrayed us and joined al-Sahwah [the Awakening]”, he says. The leader of the second ran away and all but two of its 300 fighters joined the Awakening. The activities of the third were “frozen due to their present conditions”. Of the fourth he writes: “Most of its members are scoundrels, sectarians, non-believers”.

He lists 38 people still working for him but beside five names he has written comments like “We have not seen him for twenty days” or “left us a week ago”. He concludes, wistfully: “And that is the number of fighters left in my sector.”

Mayor kicks Marines out of Toledo

You should just shoot him.

Mayor Carty Finkbeiner on Friday ordered some 200 members of Company A, 1st Battalion, 24th Marines from Grand Rapids, Michigan, out of Toledo just before the unit was suppose to start a weekend of urban warfare training downtown.

I guess the "I Support The Troops" fad is over.

The mayor’s spokesperson Brian Schwartz said, “the mayor asked them to leave because they frighten people. He did not want them practicing and drilling in a highly visible area."

We don't want to see what you do, we just want to read about it through a bias opinion-piece in the papers.

Toledo police said they knew about the training and had approved the unit’s use of the Madison Building and the Promenade Park area. The training was scheduled to start Friday afternoon and last until Sunday. Police said the unit’s presence would have a minimal impact on the city. Police issued a press release earlier in the week saying the marines would be wearing green camouflage uniforms, operate military vehicles, carry rifles, perform foot patrols, and fire blank ammunitiion during the exercise.

I'm all for allowing the troops of our nation to practice wherever they like. I fear sometimes that the populations displeasure with an un-popular war (which is an oxymoron by the way cause since when was war popular?) and decisions by our administration leads to a mislead aggression against the troops that put their lives on the line to protect and serve our country.

NBC24 spoke to Jack Smith who recalled that after the marines last visit, he and the mayor had a heated exchange about the training. “He told me he did not want them, as he put it, 'playing war in Toledo,'" Smith recalled. "I told him, as a former marine, that if one young marine’s life is saved because of training he or she received in Toledo, Ohio, then it was worth the inconvenience.”

Nothing's more "inconvenient" than dropping your daily life, flying halfway around the globe to get shot at. Think maybe the nice people of Toledo could stand a few fucking detours for a weekend?

Bhutto killed by blast, not a bullet, Scotland Yard concludes

Does it really matter?

Scotland Yard waded into the controversy around Benazir Bhutto's death yesterday when it released a report supporting the official explanation of how the opposition leader was killed.

Just what the west needs, another reason for the Islamic world to be mad at us.

After a month-long investigation based largely on x-rays and video evidence, British investigators concluded that Bhutto was killed by a bomb blast and not, as is widely believed in Pakistan, by an assassin's bullet.

So we've changed the cause of death for murder by gunshot to murder by bomb blast. Good, now, how about finding out who did it? Or, actually, I think we all know who did it, how about just finding them?

But their findings were rejected by Bhutto's party, the Pakistan People's party, which insists that Bhutto was felled by gunfire as she stood in her bulletproof jeep after a rally in Rawalpindi on December 27. "She died from a bullet injury. This was and is our position," said spokeswoman Sherry Rehman.

After all, they would know, with all their high-tech scientific equipment and foresic expertise.

A lawyers' leader, Aitzaz Ahsan, said the report could only be "speculative" because the crime scene had been scrubbed clean by officials within hours of her death.

Sounds like a shitty job.

Police Swabbing Mouths During Traffic Stops In Serial Killer Hunt

You can have my license and registration but you're not putting anything into my mouth.

Police officers in Daytona Beach are swabbing the mouths of persons of interests during traffic stops with special DNA kits in the hunt for an elusive serial killer, sources close to the investigation told Local 6.

"Look, officer, I'm sorry I have a taillight out but do you really need to run my DNA through a database?"

Investigators said they believe the same man has killed four women execution style in the Daytona Beach area.A profiler said the serial killer is likely clean cut and probably has a wife or girlfriend.

That's probably what drove him to kill in the first place.

And, the Daytona Beach police Chief, Mike Chitwood, said detectives have the killer's DNA. "Genetically, we know who he is," Chitwood said. "We have DNA evidence from the murder scenes -- so, we got that. That is never going to go away. And, sooner or later, we will match the DNA to the physical person and bring closure to everything that is going on."

While people may say that this procedure is justified in order to get a serial killer off the streets, it's what this could lead to that bothers me. I don't want someone knocking on my door and shoving a cottonball into my mouth everytime some nutcase decides to strangle a prostitute.

Nato members likely to ignore pleas to share burden in Afghanistan

Cause that's what the West does best, comes together to accomplish a universal goal.

Nato defence ministers meeting today are not expected to offer any more troops for Afghanistan, despite a plea from military commanders for another 7,500 soldiers, alliance sources said yesterday.

Cause during war, people can get hurt, and we can't have that.

The gloomy prediction on the eve of an informal session of the defence ministers in Vilnius, capital of Lithuania, pre-empted appeals yesterday from Gordon Brown and Condoleezza Rice, the American Secretary of State, for other Nato countries to share more of the burden in Afghanistan.

I know much of the world views the war in Afghanistan as an American war. It's not. Unfortunately people won't realize that until something really, really shitty happens. Make no mistake people, they hate America, but they hate you just as much.

Only a small number of nations had troops in the most dangerous parts of Afghanistan, she said. “We believe very strongly there ought to be a sharing of that burden throughout the alliance.” Rice said.

It's going to take a few years but eventually everything is going to boil down to two sides. Unity will win the day. The enemy is unified in its hatred for the west. What's it going to take to get us unified?

Chadian President Says Govt. in 'Total Control' After Rebel Assault

If you were in 'Total Control' you wouldn't have had a rebel assault in the first place now would you?

Chad's President Idriss Deby says his government is in" total control" of the entire country after an assault by rebels on the capital, N'Djamena, that left more than 100civilians dead.

"Oh everything's fine."

Mr. Deby made the comment Wednesday in his first public appearance since the rebel assault began late last week.

"I just got out of bunker a few miles underground. Everything is under control."

An exiled Chadian rebel spokesman, Makaila Nguebla, says the insurgents are 30 kilometers outside the capital and could carry out new attacks over the next days.
"I, however, am as far away from the capital as possible. Hey, you can't expect a rebel spokesman to get involved in the fighting. I might get hurt. My job is to simply have a goal that OTHER people die for."

Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

If you fart, it better be completely accidental. So we're now dishing out punsihments for natural human functions huh. We're circling the drain people, circling the fucking drain.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

And soon our children will just start throwing poo at each other. Has anyone ever really wondered whether humans EVOLVED into apes instead of the other way around?

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

Intentional farting. Every time I fart it's intentional. Has anyone ever farted without knowing it was coming? And how do you prove an intentional fart? Let the kids play their game. Sooner or later one of them is going to think to himself, "oh, I got the game-winning fart on deck" and he's going to give it a push and he's going to shit his pants. Games over.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

When I was in 8th grade I was embarassed to fart in class. It's good to see that kids have no shame these days. Seems like it's taking the newer generations longer and longer to mature. I'm glad I'm going to be dead in fifty-so years, I really am. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I wind up on a water tower with a sniper rifle.

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school. "They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

16 times a day huh? Looks like I'm winning then.

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

In the past I've been criticized for calling teenagers stupid. I rest my case. Where's the dog crate...

Sunday Sign of Hope February 3rd 2008

Giants Stun 'Perfect' Pats in Super Bowl

Hey, I'm a New Yorker. From Breitbart.com:

The Giants had the perfect answer for the suddenly imperfect Patriots: a big, bad defense and an improbable comeback led by their own Mr. Cool quarterback, Eli Manning. In one of football's biggest shockers, New York shattered New England's unbeaten season as Manning hit Plaxico Burress on a 13-yard fade with 35 seconds left in the Super Bowl.

Sunday's 17-14 win was the Giants' 11th straight on the road, and the first time the Patriots tasted defeat in more than a year.

It was the most bitter of losses, too, because New England (18-1) was one play from winning, but its defense couldn't stop a 12-play, 83- yard drive that featured a spectacular leaping catch by David Tyree, who scored New York's first touchdown.

Tom Brady, the league's Most Valuable Player and winner of his first three Super Bowls, was battered all game. He was sacked five times, hurried a dozen more, and at one point wound up on his knees, his hands on his hips following one of many poor throws.

Hardly a familiar position for the record-setting quarterback. And a totally strange outcome for a team that seemed destined for historic glory.

Oddly, it was a loss to the Patriots that sparked New York's stunning run to its third Super Bowl and sixth NFL title. New England won 38-35 in Week 17 as the Patriots became the first team since the 1972 Miami Dolphins to go spotless through the regular season. But by playing hard in a meaningless game for them, the Giants gained something of a swagger.

Their growing confidence carried them through playoff victories at Tampa, Dallas and Green Bay, and then past the mightiest opponent of all.

Fireworks Explosion in Istanbul Kills 22

What a finale!

An unlicensed fireworks factory here exploded accidentally, leaving at least 22 people dead and at least 100 injured, Turkish officials said Thursday.

Do unlicensed firework factories ever explode on purpose?

The building that housed the unlicensed factory, in Davutpasa, an industrial neighborhood, partly collapsed.

Hey, if it only partly collapsed after exploding, that's some strong architecture.

Many victims were crushed to death when some floors collapsed.

You mean ceilings. Can't be crushed by a floor, unless the floor is over you, therefore making it a ceiling.

“It’s certain that the explosion was related to a sparkler, torch or fireworks,” Mr. Guler said.

You're probably right. Fire probably had a hand in this explosion.

As many as eight victims were bystanders watching the fire from the first blast, when a second one occurred, killing them, Agence France-Presse reported.

So what have we learned? When there is an explosion, you should move away. Far away. This isn't rocket science people, although, bottle rockets were involved.

Women tricked into suicide blasts

Don't listen when they tell you suicide vests are all the rage this summer.

Two women suicide bombers who have killed nearly 80 people in Baghdad were Down's Syndrome victims exploited by al Qaida.

So, all you out there that believe the US is responisble for torture and human rights violations when we waterboard someone, speak up now. Come on, I'm listening. Where's the outrage? Where's the claims that these are really "Iraqi freedom fighters"? Tell me again why the US is wrong in targeting these "insurgents". I ask you, what do you call someone who straps explosives onto the mentally disabled and blows them up in a pet market in order to kill civilians? Insurgents? Freedom fighters? Terrorists? Nope, there is no word strong enough to describe these monsters.

The explosives were detonated by remote control in a co-ordinated attack after the women walked into separate crowded markets, said the chief Iraqi military spokesman in Baghdad General Qassim al-Moussawi.

Lions of Islam. That's what al-qaeda calls itself. Lions.

Other officials said the women were apparently unaware of what they were doing in what could be a new method by suspected Sunni insurgents to subvert toughened security measures.

So someone please tell me how this is an insurgency fighting to expel a foreign occupier from their land. In what way does this help to accomplish that goal. It doesn't. This is murder, inhumane and barbaric homicide. The only way to deal with people like this is to kill them. Arguements? Didn't think so.