Italian parties hold their breath before two-day election

The Italian elections are now approaching. In the balance lies an ally of the US in Iraq and one of the most insane Prime Ministers in the history of insane Prime Ministers. (It's a more extensive list than you might think)

At his final campaign rally before the two-day general election, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was joined by leaders of his centre-right coalition, the House of Liberties. He told thousands of supporters in Naples: "You can rest assured that we will win on Sunday and Monday because we are not arseholes."

I think we all know that's not true. The American people haven't elected a non-asshole since Taft.

Silvio Berlusconi, during his campaigning for re-election, has vowed to give up sex for the election, compared himself to Jesus and Napoleon, and admitted phoning late-night erotic chat lines.

There's something to be said about honesty and that is, sometimes it's okay to lie. If America wanted a sex-crazed, egotistical madman in the White House we would have allowed Clinton another term. So if we elected Clinton to two terms perhaps Berlusconi is following the Lewinski model of politics. I'm left to wonder what Berlusconi's strategy here is with the Jesus comment though. Comparing ones self to Jesus is...well...it's a crazy thing to do here in America. Now, Jesus is to Italy what, like, American Idol is to America. So comparing yourself to Jesus in Italy is like saying bad things about American Idol in America. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Yesterday the Italian Prime Minister, trailing in opinion polls before Sunday’s vote, perhaps went a step too far when he suggested that left-wing voters were “dickheads”.

Ah, insult the voters. Dare them not to vote for you. Tell them their fathers are fat, their mothers are whores and that their children are stupid and there's nothing they can do about. Interesting strategy. Let's see how it works out for him. Stay tuned.