Homeland Security Official Faces Child Sex Charges

Look, I've already resolved myself to the fact that my government cannot protect me and at some point I'm going to be blown into little pieces like humpty dumpty. Just, please, don't touch me in my secret no-no places too.

A federal Homeland Security official has been busted in an Internet sex sting.

Who the fuck is in charge over there?

Brian Doyle, 55, is expected to be placed on administrative leave Wednesday morning from his job at the Department of Homeland Security.

Administrative leave? I bet if I were busted in a Internet Child Sex Sting I would lose my job.

Department of Homeland Security Deputy Press Secretary Brian Doyle is charged with multiple counts of using a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor.

I have a feeling he's going to try to pass this off as part of protecting our country. You know, sending naked pictures to child prepare them for the horrors of an inevitable terrorist attack in which all our clothes are stolen.

Officials said Doyle had sexually explicit online chats with an undercover detective he believed was a 14-year-old girl.

I hate this planet.