Pluto no longer a planet

It's a space station. But it's not fully operational...yet.

Pluto is no longer the ninth planet in our solar system. It's only a "dwarf."

Please, they prefer "little planet" or "tiny rock-size debris floating through the void of space".

Its fate was determined Thursday by the world's astronomers, who for the first time created a set of rules defining just what a planet is -- and what it is not.

Congratulations Earth, you've turned the universe into a popularity contest.

Pluto got the shaft.

Yeah, but Pluto is the type of planet that gets mocked and teased but grows up to become wealthy and famous in the computer industry. You just watch. Pluto will have the last laugh.

That leaves the solar system with its original eight planets and countless other objects that now must be called "small solar system bodies."

Eliminating it's former tag of "floaty crap".

There are now three planetary criteria: A planet is anything in the heavens that's massive enough for its own gravity to keep it roughly round, that orbits a star on its own and is not a satellite, and that has cleared away any loose cosmic rubble from its neighborhood.

So keep this in mind next time you discover a heavenly body. In space, not at the bar mind you.

That leaves the solar system with the eight planets every school kid has always known: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

My entire life has been a lie.