Friday, March 03, 2006

Study: Americans know 'Simpsons' better than First Amendment

If you're not an American, don't read this cause it'll give you the wrong impression of us Americans. You'll think we're lazy couch potatoes that are self-centered and would rather watch the television than get up and do anything and...you know...now that I really think about it...that's a pretty accurate description.

Americans know more about The Simpsons than they do about the First Amendment, a study by the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum finds.

Well The Simpsons is a classic fucking TV show. Maybe if the US Constitution had more zingers in it more people would pay attention.

25% of Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, but more than half can name at least two members of the Simpsons.

22% of respondents could name all five Simpson family members. Just one in 1,000 people could name all five First Amendment freedoms.

Yes world...we are stupid. We take our freedom for granted. We're self-centered, slothful, gluttonous, mindless zombies that can't tell people apart. We mistake French people for Canadians and only a handful of us know that England's an island. Our secrets out.

In all fairness though, watch one episode of The Simpsons before you condemn us and you'll understand.

And um, have Homer Simpsons read the First Ammendment on the show. Problem fucking solved.