First bluetongue disease case in the UK

For those of you not in the know, Bluetongue is when you're really, really close to having oral sex but then you don't for some reason and your tongue is left aching.

THE farming industry was facing another potentially devastating blow last night after the first-ever case of bluetongue disease was confirmed in the UK. The infected animal - a cow at a Suffolk petting farm - is believed to have been bitten by a midge carrying the disease. Plans are already in place to test insects to see if the incident is a one-off. If bluetongue is widespread it could lead to the setting up of exclusion zones and restrictions on the movement of farm animals.

What's a midge?

The disease, which has a mortality rate of 70% among sheep, cannot be passed from animal to animal, unlike foot and mouth, but can cause devastation if it is widespread in the insect population.

Should we panic? Should I panic? I'll panic. Just in case you know. Ok...I'm panicking.

Bluetongue, which does not affect humans, has been gradually moving north through Europe.

Oh...well...I'll still panic. Can't stop once I start, it stings.