Ahmadinejad Writes to Bush on Ways to Ease Tensions

Dear Mr. President Bush Jr.,

I am writing you in order to try and find a way that our two countries could avoid the destruction of mine. Perhaps we can find a common thread, like the fact that both of us are completely out of our minds. :)

Iran has the right to produce nuclear weap...um...power for peaceful purposes. Haha...peaceful purposes being peace without Israel but you don't know that. Oh damn I wrote it. Why did I write what I was thinking? That's just crazy. I guess I won't send this then. I'll write another copy. Oh man but my pen is almost out of ink. I don't think I have another pen. Hold on...

Okay I found another pen. It was under the couch. You'd be surprised how much stuff gets lost under there. Why just the other day I found the finger of an infidel under there...and a quarter. Strange me finding an American quarter under the couch. I wonder how it got there.

AHA! You think I'm stupid don't you. I know it's an American spy couch now that I've found the quarter. I have poured gasoline on your infidel couch and have matches in my hand. Allow me now to demonstrate what we Iranians do to spies here in Tehran.

Oh Allah help me, the fire is raging out of control. I can't put it out. The palace is burning down. This is because of the Jews!!

Praise Allah in the Highest,
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad