al-Qaeda No. 2 says US cuts in Iraq represent Islamic win

This reminds me of Mets fans. Now hold on before you get all up in arms about me comparing Al-Qaeda's #2 man, Ayman al-Zawahiri to Mets fans and let me explain.

The Mets suck. They've always sucked. Even in 1986 they sucked they just sucked less than everyone else. Now, since Mets fans rarely get a win they've turned to celebrating when the Yankees lose. Instead of routing for a check in the W column, they've actually learned to accept the fact that the Mets will never win another World Series and instead have begun routing for the other NY team to not win the World Series.

Do you see what I'm getting at here. Point is, you can find a victory in anything. Some guy could beat the ever-loving shit out of me and I can say, "I won cause I didn't die." And if you shoot me I can say, "I win cause you didn't shoot me twice." Victory is perception, especially in violent combat, and especially against an enemy that views death as the ultimate success.

Al-Qaeda's No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, said in a videotape aired Friday that the United States' recent decision to withdraw some troops from Iraq represented "the victory of Islam." "I congratulate (the Islamic nation) for the victory of Islam in Iraq," he said.

And what a victory it's been, with all the losing holds on Iraqi cities left and right, being blown to bits in airstrikes and being captured in raids and imprisoned and then, getting tortured and abused. If that's winning than shit...what happens if you lose?

Al-Zawahri apparently was referring to comments last month by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who said President Bush had authorized new troop cuts below the 138,000 level that prevailed for most of last year. "You remember I told you more than a year ago that the American withdrawal from Iraq is only a matter of time, and here they are now ... negotiating with the mujahedeen," al-Zawahri said.

You must be fucking psychic. Calling an inevitable action a victory. Wow. The only people less intelligent than someone who would make a statement like that would be people who believe it. That's on par with me saying, "The phone will ring one day and on that day, I win." It's going to fucking happen, we all know the phones going to ring just like we know we aren't going to make our soldiers grow up in Baghdad. Calling it a victory of Islam is like calling breathing a victory for carbon dioxide.

The only victory here is for the few Al-Qaeda fighters who've managed not to get killed yet. They'll soon have a few less guns aimed at them. Good luck guys.