Bush Hails Taiwan As Democratic Model

In a move befitting the mentally challenged, President Bush challenged China just days before meetings with its leaders, and today held up the self-governing island of Taiwan that Beijing claims as its own as a model of freedom "at all levels" that the communist giant should emulate. What the fuck is wrong with him? Bush, don't piss off the country with the nukes. And if you really, really have to, wait until after you visit at least. That's going to make for some awkward moments. Following the headlines on Bush is like following the adventures of Timmy the Monkey with Down Syndrome. We wince everytime he opens his mouth and whenever he accomplishes a small task, like eating pretzels without passing out we praise him like a puppy. It's the ulitmate fake-out if you ask me. Only someone that brillant could pretend to be so fucking inept as to be praised for the simplest shit as he does. Of course, he's going to get us all killed.

In remarks sure to irritate his Chinese hosts, Bush prodded the communist nation to grant basic freedoms to its 1.3 billion people and further open its economy. Yes, our President is irritating but at least no one has rioted in Asia yet. A few weeks ago Bush's visit to South America sparked violent rioting. I see that as progress.