Man gets stuck in septic tank on Christmas Eve

O' Holy Shit.

It was a stinky holiday for Robert Schoff. The 77-year-old man spent part of Christmas Eve stuck upside down in the opening of his septic tank, with his head inside and his feet kicking in the air above.

I can think of better ways to spend Christmas Eve. Hell, I can think of better ways to spend a Monday. Of course, one must wonder why in the name of all that's good one would stick the upper half of their body into a septic tank in the first place.

"It wasn't good, I'll tell you what," Schoff said Tuesday. "It was the worst Christmas Eve I've ever had."

Are you sure?

Schoff reached into the tank Monday in an effort to find a clog, but he lost his balance and got wedged into the opening.

Why would you remove a clog in a septic tank with your hand in the first place?

The 5-foot-5-inch, 135-pound Schoff hollered and screamed for help, but it was an hour before his wife, Toni, walked by a window and saw his feet in the air.

"Quick, get the video camera!"

"I saw these kicking feet and ran out, but couldn't get him out," Toni Schoff said.

Especially since he keeps leaving the toilet seat down.

She called 911 and two Polk County sheriff's deputies yanked her husband out of the tank.

You must smell terrific.