Monday, February 12, 2007

Valentine bouquets 'are bad for the planet'

I don't care if they make California fall off into the Pacific. They help me get laid.

The Valentine's Day bouquet — the gift that every woman in Britain will be waiting for next week — has become the latest bête noire among environmental campaigners.

Alright, firstly, does this mean because my girlfriend is not in Britain I can skate by this year on some candy and a card? Secondly, and probably ten times more importantly, what the fuck does bete noire mean?

Latest Government figures show that the flowers that make up the average bunch have flown 33,800 miles to reach Britain.

You guys don't grow flowers over there in Britain?

In the past three years, the amount of flowers imported from the Netherlands has fallen by 47 per cent to 94,000 tons, while those from Africa have risen 39 per cent to 17,000 tons.

Where are all these flowers coming from? They're all over the place here. I guess that's what you get for having Valentines Day in the middle of the fucking winter. Whoever planned that one planned poorly.
Bete noire...that's going to bother me all day.

Environmentalists warned that "flower miles" could have serious implications on climate change in terms of carbon dioxide emissions from aeroplanes.

Awesome! I now finally have the perfect excuse to flake out on Valentines Day.
"Sorry sweetie, I was going to get you some flowers but, think of the children!"


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