Friday, November 03, 2006

Prominent Evangelical leader admits to purchasing narcotics


Well...I guess there was an eighth day.

A well known leader of the Evangelical Church is under fire after allegations surface of a sex scandal involving a male prostitute. Ted Haggard admitted Friday to buying drugs from his accuser.

Ever hear the saying "Practice what you preach"? Yeah...he didn't.

He has resigned as the president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals.
Oh no. Why?

The moves come after Mike Jones, a self described male escort, said Haggard came to him for sex and drugs about once a month, for 3 years.

It's a simple mistake. You see, when Teddy's pastor told him as a little boy, "And on the seventh day he rested." Teddy thought he said, "On the seventh day He rested...with a male prostitute and got high." It's a common mistake, apparently.
Regarding the accusations, Haggard stated, "I called him to buy some meth, but threw it away."

Waste not little Teddy. There are addicts in Cali dying for a fix. Be grateful that the good Lord gave you the ability to purchase illicit drugs from gay drug dealers. Isn't it funny when these "do-gooders" and "holier-than-thou" types forget that your private life doesn't stay private once you're famous?

Haggard added, “I was tempted. I bought it. But I never used it."

And Clinton never inhaled. Ladies and Gentlemen, our schools are failing these people. There seems to be an entire generation that does not know how to use drugs properly.
Also, a married father of five, Haggard denied the sex allegations. "I have never had a gay relationship with anybody and I am steady with my wife and I am faithful to my wife." Haggard said.

I've never lied to her...except that time I bough meth from that gay male prostitute.

3 Comments:

Blogger f.b.i.t.c. said...

He didn't have 'proper' sex with the gay guy, he was a 'giver' and not a 'taker' - and he never let his balls slap the other guys ass - so it doesn't count.

(He did offer him a 'reach-around' though . . .)

November 06, 2006 2:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the animals are running the zoo now!...do people who grewup in the sixties really know how to do drugs.
this clown buys it and doesn't use it and throws it away, Clinton smokes but doesn't inhale.

November 06, 2006 11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the animals are running the zoo now!...do people who grewup in the sixties really know how to do drugs.
this clown buys it and doesn't use it and throws it away, Clinton smokes but doesn't inhale.

November 06, 2006 11:04 AM  

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