'Aliens could attack at any time' warns former British MoD chief

As if we didn't have enough to worry about.

UFO sightings and alien visitors tend to be solely the reserve of sci-fi movies. So when a former MoD chief warns that the country could be attacked by extraterrestrials at any time, you may be forgiven for feeling a little alarmed.

A little? Man I saw War of the Worlds. I know what those bastards are capable of. No place is safe. They're coming. And they want our IPods.

During his time as head of the Ministry of Defence UFO project, Nick Pope was persuaded into believing that other lifeforms may visit Earth and, more specifically, Britain.

Those spacecraft must get fantastic gas mileage.

His concern is that "highly credible" sightings are simply dismissed.

When laser beams start destroying the world's most famous tourist attractions, which, if TV hasn't been lying to me for years, is exactly the first thing aliens do when they attack, then I'll start to worry. Until then, I'm more concentrated on Mohammed sitting in the back of the plane wearing the puffy jacket, sweating and reciting verses from the Koran to himself.

And he complains that the project he once ran is now "virtually closed" down, leaving the country "wide open" to aliens.

If anyone has weapons of mass destruction...

And while Mr Pope says that there is no evidence of hostile intent, he insists it cannot be ruled out.

Let's strike first then. Everyone start throwing rocks into the air. We'll show those bastards.
In all honesty though, if aliens want to conquer the Earth, go right the fuck ahead. They can't do any worse than we have.