Plan to create human-cow embryos

Why?

UK scientists have applied for permission to create embryos by fusing human DNA with cow eggs.

This is just great news if you're a cannibal. The next time you go off your rocker and decide to kill and eat someone, they'll be delicious with lettuce, tomato and fries.

The hybrid human-bovine embryos would be used for stem cell research and would not be allowed to develop for more than a few days.

I hate to sound like one of those hypocritical god-people, but this experimentation we are doing is bordering on disatrous. Haven't these scienctists seen Resident Evil? Fucking with this kind of stuff always causes zombie outbreaks and if the movies have taught me anything, nothing's worse than a zombie outbreak.

The problem is that human eggs for research are in short supply and to obtain them women have to undergo surgery. That is why scientists want to use cows' eggs as a substitute.

Hey ladies, science is saying theres no difference between you and cows. Not trying to cause a fight but I think that means they're saying you look a little fat in those jeans.