Heat Wave Cooks Eastern Part of U.S.

Newsflash. It's fucking hot.

Commuters sweated on their way to work Wednesday as the temperature and humidity started climbing back up to heat wave levels after a night of little relief.

It's what happens in the summer. It gets hot.

In the stifling subway tunnels, there was no air conditioning on three cars of the train Sayed Bukhari rode into Manhattan. "People were crying," Sayed said.

We'll there's no reason to cry about it you fucking pussies. Jeez, it gets a little hot every once in awhile. And who the fuck is Sayed Bukhari and was he searched before he got on the subway?

"You don't beat it," workman Frank Kenney, 40, said Tuesday in Bangor, Maine. "You just get through it."

Thanks Frank. It's enlightening comments like that one that got you to wherever it is you are in the world today.

Okay people listen, it's summer, it gets hot, we get heat waves every once in awhile. Try to remember something. Your job is not worth your life. If you work outside or in a place with little air circulation or no air condition, CALL THE FUCK OUT SICK. Stay home. Suck an ice cube. Crawl into the freezer. But if you choose to leave the house, don't complain about the heat. It's August.

Also, a tidbit of advice for all you out there who don't have air condition in your homes. Get one. Also, do what I did when I didn't have air conditioning. Go to your local supermarket and crawl in with the frozen dinners. Or better yet, work your way back behind where they store the milk. No one goes back there and it's like a igloo. You could spend three or four hours back there before someone finds you. Just tell them you where looking for the bathroom and got confused. If they get loud with you, tell them you took a piss on the orange juice.