Mel Gibson apologizes for DUI arrest

Well then, I guess I'm sorry for the possession of a controlled substance charge I was hit with five years ago too.

Mel Gibson issued a lengthy statement Saturday apologizing for his drunk driving arrest and saying he has battled alcoholism throughout his life.

I don't care.

Gibson also apologized for what he said were "despicable" statements he made to the deputies who arrested him early Friday morning on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu.

You said something bad about Jewish people didn't you.

"Fucking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"

Whoa. Usually you ask that question BEFORE the racist rant. Well shit, anyone who saw Passion of the Christ could have told you Mel Gibson hates Jewsih people. Hey ladies, the famously beloved and handsome Mel Gibson is a racist drunk. Makes me look a little better now doesn't it?

The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother fucker. I'm going to fuck you."

I know a lot of women, and some gay men, who would pay money to hear Gibson yell that at him.

Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is fucked."

Am I supposed to feel bad for him? Shit, I wish I had his problems. I've battled alcoholism since I was six...without the hundreds of millions of dollars. I love when celebrities fucking self-destruct. Surprise! They're human.