Woman rips off her husband's testicles with bare hands.

Oh...my...GOD!!!

A Philadelphia man is recovering from an attack, allegedly at the hands of his wife.

That pun is not appreciated, not appreciated at all.

The 52-year-old Tioga-Nicetown man, who we are identifying only by his first name of Howard, arrived home late Wednesday, hours after his wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands. Surgeons at Einstein successfully managed to repair the damage.

There is no reason I can fathom to rip the twins OFF a mans body with anything, let alone your bare hands. He cheated, kick him out. He lies, punch him in the face. He beats on you, shoot him. But for the love of God big Jim and the twins did nothing. NOTHING!!
And good thing they're only calling him Howard to protect his idenity. You know, since they published a picture of his fucking face about two inches above the opening lines of the article.

Howard says his 40-year-old wife Monica, who he says is bi-polar, somehow conceived the notion that he was cheating on her. So while he was asleep last night, she attacked him.

Bi-polar? BI-POLAR?! Fuck that! She's a nutcase to end all nutcases. You don't do that to people. Great...now I'm crying.

"I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."

Howard...don't ever tell anyone about this again. I don't want to hear it. I need some time alone.

Police and paramedics rushed to the man's row home in the 3800 block of Pulaski where they found him bleeding profusely.

No shit.

He was rushed to Einstein where doctors first labeled his condition critical.

Once again...no shit.

He was later upgraded to stable after having reattachment surgery and a few doses of morphine.

He should be given a lifetime supply of heroin.

Howard still cannot believe his wife of 11 years would allegedly do this to him.

Me neither and I don't even know you people. Just doing this story is making my secret no-no place ache. I'm out of here.