Friday, March 24, 2006

Vanished girl returns as woman

Well I'd hope so. I'd have more questions if she returned as an IHOP menu or something.

Tanya Kach was 14 when she walked out of her father's McKeesport home more than a decade ago.The Cornell Middle School eighth-grader vanished. There were no sightings. No phone calls.


The case went cold and stayed that way until Tuesday - 10 years, one month and 11 days later - when Kach walked back into her father's life and told the world that a school security guard with whom she had fallen in love held her captive since Feb. 10, 1996.

Wait, what? School security guard held you captive for 10 years? 10 years? That's
3,650 days, excluded leap years cause I don't have that kind of time for math this morning. In 3,650 days you couldn't figure out a way to escape? I mean, I could've built a plane and flew to safety in that fucking space of time. I have one of those gut feelings that more than one unstable mind is at work here. This story's going to be good.

Kach spent most of the past 10 years locked in a bedroom of Hose's parents' Soles Street home.

You know those clear square holes in the walls where you can see trees and other outside things? Those are windows. If you open them or break them and yell out, people will come get you.

Hose and Kach met in late 1995 at the school where Hose, then 37, worked as a security guard. They secretly dated. She believed they were in love.

One...two...two unstable minds.

No one could take care of her better, she believed. He invited her to move in with him, but told Kach she would have to remain hidden from his parents until he mustered the courage to tell them about her.

Nothing is more difficult than intriducing your parents to your girlfriend while she's playing with My Little Pony.

She agreed and dreamed of their future together - a wedding, and maybe even children.

And a bucket as a toilet. What a wonderful life it would be.

She was allowed to watch television and listen to the radio, but only with headphones so his parents wouldn't hear. She tiptoed around the room. Hose made her memorize which floorboards creaked.

So his parents never used the bedroom? In ten years?

Hose gave her a new first name - Nikki - and told her to pick another last name. She opened the telephone book, closed her eyes and pointed: Allen.

I did the same thing once. My new name was Greensboro Tony's Pizza.

Hose never physically abused her, but he left emotional scars. He often threatened to kill her if she ever tried to leave.

Unless this guy was taking a bat to my ankles on a daily basis I would have left at some point during those ten years. Ten years! How do you spend ten years in a bedroom, with a bucket to go to the bathroom in, listening to TV on headphones? Ten years! If you were my daughter and you came back with this story I'd send you to your room for another five.

Hose rarely allowed her to leave until 10 months ago, when Kach began attending church and taking walks to a nearby deli.

You were allowed to leave? You're retarded.

In the past 10 months, Kach befriended Joe Sparico, owner of JJ's Deli Mart on Evans Street, and visited his store just about every day. Some days she would linger for hours. She lived with an older man, Kach told him, and didn't have a driver's license or an education.

Now she's going to live in his bedroom...whore!

The store owner gently prodded Kach for details because "I knew something about her situation just wasn't right," Sparico said. On Tuesday morning, something had changed in his young friend. Her hands trembled, and she was crying.They sat down together in a back room and she revealed her secret: Nikki Allen didn't exist. She was really Tanya Kach, the girl who disappeared from her daddy's house long ago.

That's a big secret to unload on a deli owner. One time I ran into a deli because a friend of mine had broke his arm skateboarding and I needed a phone and the idiot made me a ham and cheese sub.

Many unanswered questions remain.

Oh, only a few. I don't want to hear anymore about this now.


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