Thursday, March 09, 2006

Tickets For Good Driving

Umm...can I be arrested now for paying my taxes?

Dozens of Central Texas drivers got pulled over Thursday for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Well that's been happening to black people for decades.

Travis County deputies kicked off what has become a controversial reward program.

You're such a good driver, you're going to jail asshole.

You know that heart stopping feeling you get when seeing the flashing red lights of law enforcement in the rear view mirror.

Yeah, especially when you've got the body of a hooker in the trunk. Know that feeling? No? Well...me neither. Let's move on shall we.

Travis County Deputy Derrick Taylor says his job is to not only look for bad drivers, but reward and encourage friendly drivers.

Look, making me late for work just to give me a pat on the back isn't helping me. I lose my job cause you liked the way I signaled my left turn just doesn't balance out. You think my boss is going to believe me when I tell him I was late cause the cops stopped me to let me know my driving was wonderful? I'm going to get fucking fired. Then, I'm going to have to rob a liquor store to pay the bills.

Travis County Deputy Derrick Taylor says his job is to not only look for bad drivers, but reward and encourage friendly drivers. "The big cargo truck that was in front of you and you allowed to get in front of you, that was a very nice thing you did and because it was a safe thing, we want to reward you with a Round Rock express baseball tickets," Taylor tells a good driver.

"Thank you officer. I always give the huge fucking cargo trucks that could crush my car into a cube the size of a marshmellow and land me stuck in the fucking glove compartment the right of way."

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

what could yo say! ONLY IN TEXAS
they must need something to feel good about.

March 09, 2006 12:52 PM  

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