Friday, March 10, 2006

Man jailed for drugging his children's tennis rivals

It's not whether you win or lose but how fucking crazy your father is.

A father so obsessed with his children's triumphs on the tennis court that he secretly drugged their competitors was sentenced to eight years in prison yesterday by a French court.

I was beginning to wonder why all my matches always ended in forfeit when my opponent vomited, put Pink Floyd on the radio and left the court to buy chips.

The verdict against Christophe Fauviau, a 46-year-old retired army officer whose own brother described him as the devil, brought to a close one of the country's strangest and most riveting recent criminal cases.

An asshole? Maybe. Obsessive? Absolutely. Creative? Sure I'll give him that. The devil? I don't know if I'd go that far. I mean, sure drugging your kids tennis opponents is a fucked up thing to do but I don't know if it's on par with the devil.

It featured Mr. Fauviau blaming his bewildered parents for maiming him emotionally as a child, his tearful apology to his victims and his lawyer's claim that French Tennis Federation officials should have stopped him after noticing that so many of the Fauviau family's rivals were falling ill with remarkably similar symptoms.

It's everybody's fault but Mr. Fauviau's right? Of course it is.

One of the young victims was apparently so disoriented and drowsy from the secret dose of the anti-anxiety drug Temesta that he crashed his car on a quiet country road after a match three years ago and died from his injuries. Investigators found six times the normally prescribed dose of the drug in his bloodstream.

Ah...that devil thing is looking more and more clear now.

While taking responsibility for drugging his children's sports rivals, Mr. Fauviau also maintained that he had blocked out all memory of how he actually administered the drug before their matches.

Eight years may not be enough in this case. Prehaps some sort of beating as well, administered by the father of the kid that crashed his car. That sounds fair.
All this over tennis, which is boring anyway.


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