Physicians to try to awaken Sharon from coma today

"Mr. Prime Minister...wake up...Mr. Prime Minister...hey sleepyhead...QASSAM ROCKET INCOMING!! Oh, you're up Mr. Sharon..."

The doctors treating Prime Minister Ariel Sharon plan to try to rouse him from his induced coma today. To do so, they will gradually reduce the intravenous doses of sedatives that Sharon is receiving.

Tell me honestly, if you were in the room with a prime minister of any country and they were in a coma...you wouldn't slap 'em around a little. Right...who's with me?

Once he is awake, the doctors will examine his responses to light, sound and pain and try to determine the amount of damage he suffered as a result of his cerebral hemorrhage.

Oddly enough, shining a bright light in the face of someone who just awoke from a coma, yelling at them and then twisting their nipples more often than not causes a second coma.

Due to the breathing tube in his throat, Sharon is unlikely to be able to speak.

If he could he might say "Get this tube out of my fucking throat." But it would sound muffled.

Wouldn't it be funny if he woke up and said "Oh my God, the Palestinians are right!" How long do you think it would take the doctors to kill him?

He began breathing without a ventilator as doctors brought him out of a coma.

You know you're in trouble when everyone celebrates that you can breathe without help.

"As soon as we started to reduce the medication, the prime minister began to breathe in a spontaneous manner, that is on his own,'' Hadassah Ein Karem Hospital Director Shlomo Mor-Yosef said.

Spontaneous breathing huh...What the fuck does that mean?
"Look at me, I'm spontaneous, unpredictable...a rebel if you will. Why? Cause I'm breathing."