Swallowing Cell Phone May Not Be Voluntary

Either way, if you swallow your cell phone you are a fucking idiot.

A woman who police thought deliberately tried to swallow her cell phone during an argument with her boyfriend was apparently the victim of an assault instead, authorities said.

"If you don't put down that phone I'm going to shove it down your throat!" Usually that's an empty threat. But how does one force a cell phone down someones throat? Doesn't seem possible. And who the hell thinks of doing something like that. When I'm mad at a girlfriend, I may think of ending the relationship, I may consider going back to the single life, I may yell, scream, leave the house for a while. I don't think shoving a cell phone down my girlfriends throat ever popped into my mind.

Police were initially told the boyfriend wanted the phone and the woman tried to swallow it so that he could not get it.

Now this sounds more like the truth, although, if I wanted to see my girlfriends cell phone and she fucking swallowed it, I think that would signal the end of our time together. Obviously, she wants to hide something that bad, it's not worth being with her. And if it wasn't in fact to hide anything, well, that's worse.

Too bad I don't have her cell phone number, man, I'd be calling all day.