Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Bethlehem walled off by Israel this Christmas

Merry Christmas all you Catholics and Christians out there. This holiday season, celebrate the birth of the savior by staring at a towering concrete wall.

Pilgrims travelling the ancient route from Jerusalem to Bethlehem this Christmas will find themselves hitting a dead end -- a towering concrete wall and metal gate under the lock and key of the Israeli army.

The dusty road to the town of Jesus's birth has been the gateway to Bethlehem since biblical times and would have been the likely path taken by Mary and Joseph. But today it leads to what the mayor of Bethlehem calls "the world's largest prison".

Nice. So the birthplace of arguably the most influential man in the history of the world has been turned into Sing Sing. And what better way to prove to the world that our civilization has lost their fucking minds.

If Mary and Joseph were here today, they would go through the checkpoint just like everybody else," said Sister Erica, a nun, at the crossing.

Hey, just because you're giving the immaculate birth of the son of God doesn't make you special. BACK OF THE LINE! Empty your pockets. Is that a pregnant belly Mary or an explosive belt?

"The aim of the barrier is to protect Jerusalem ... because a significant number of suicide bombers and accomplices entered Jerusalem from the Bethlehem area," Jerusalem police spokesman Shmuel Ben-Ruby said.

On the other side of a metal gate, reminiscent of a giant garage door, is the continuation of the Bethlehem Road.
The town's once-thriving entrance -- a place where in bygone years Palestinians and Israelis milled about in cafes, local stores and even a dentist's surgery -- is now almost deserted.

Come visit the Holy Land of Jesus's birth and get a free root canal. Suicide bombers, concrete and barbed wire walls. Checkpoints. He truly is the king of kings. Nothing says peace on earth and goodwill to man like the presence of armed soliders .

"It's choking the life out of our neighbourhood and our businesses," said Nikola, the Christian-Palestinian owner of the Christmas Tree restaurant, which is near Rachel's Tomb.

Yeah, something tells me that a restaurant named Christmas Tree wouldn't exactly be thriving in between Israel and Palestine concrete wall or no concrete wall. Good luck with that. A friend of mine is heading over to Saudi Arabia to open a Sex Toy shop called America's Evil Toys. Should be a hit. Maybe you'd like to help him finance this venture?

"A few years ago, this place was so crowded that I wouldn't have time to talk," said Nikola as he fried falafel balls in a vat of boiling oil in his empty restaurant. "These days, I can count the number of customers on my hand."

Or a wayward hand of a suicide bomber. Hey, does a suicide bomber count as one customer or thirty-two after he blows himself into little pieces. Umm...waiter...there's a martyr in my soup...and my hair.

Nowadays, tourists bypass the bullet-scarred neighborhood.

Yeah, those bullet-scarred neighborhoods are always so damn crowded.

"Bethlehem has been turned into a ghetto. We demand the Israelis give Bethlehem freedom. If they won't do it then we won't have peace this Christmas," Bethlehem's mayor Victor Batarseh told reporters.

Merry Christmas everybody and to all a...INCOMING!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

right on! mad man, with this story and your comments. funny stuff

December 21, 2005 2:05 PM  

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