Eastern suburbs cat high on cocaine

He chased his tail for a record 4 hours straight. Caught it twice.

A cat in Sydney's eastern suburbs was taken to a vet high on cocaine and benzodiazepines.

Fluffy...you have a problem.

The eight-month-old Himalayan cat arrived at the Double Bay clinic on Monday morning with dilated pupils and a racing heart after being accidentally locked in a cupboard overnight, Fairfax newspapers reported.

I think I know how the owners accidentally locked the cat in the cupboard.

It was having trouble walking, was easily startled, paced incessantly and was too anxious to have a thermometer inserted into its rectum, said a report in this month's edition of Journal of Feline Medicine and Surgery.

I don't know if it's fair to judge how high on drugs something is by the amount of anxiety it has to having something inserted into its rectum. Hell, even after fifteen sleeping pills, two bottles of nyquil and five bashes from a baseball bat to the forehead, I'd still have a pretty high anxiety level.

The owner was adamant the cat had not been exposed to drugs, mouldy food or toxic plants.

"He's been hanging with some shady looking cats down the corner."

But when the vet phoned the owner's wife, she admitted the cat could have licked "plates of cocaine" which had been served at a dinner party two days earlier.

Now THAT'S a fucking dinner party.
"And for desert everyone find a vein."

The owner was counselled and allowed to take the cat home as there is no legal requirement for vets to report such cases to the police.

However you can alert the media all you want.