Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Court Allows Church's Hallucinogenic Tea

But yet I can't smoke a joint and order a pizza to, you know, get in touch with God.

The Supreme Court ruled unanimously Tuesday that a small congregation in New Mexico may use hallucinogenic tea as part of a four-hour ritual intended to connect with God.

I've done hallucinogenics before, mushrooms, peyote, stuff like that. Not only does it bring you closer to God but it also makes you think the trees are talking to you, your friends have melted into a bubbling goo, water is musical and can be played much like a flute and that you are now capable of flight much like the majestic eagle who's been egging you to jump of the roof for a good fifteen minutes.
God isn't a tea leaf. No, not even a magical tea leaf.

Justices, in their first religious freedom decision under Chief Justice John Roberts, moved decisively to keep the government out of a church's religious practice.

It is now officially part of my religion to take eight bong hits and order Dominoes. In thy name I pray.

The tea, which contains an illegal drug known as DMT, is considered sacred to members of O Centro Espirita Beneficiente Uniao do Vegetal, which has a blend of Christian beliefs and South American traditions.

They consider drugs sacred. Good for them. So...umm...where do I sign up for the magic tea?


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