Moscow agrees to tone down anti-US rhetoric

One country down, the rest of the fucking world to go.

Russia is to tone down its increasingly harsh anti-US rhetoric but the two countries failed in talks on Tuesday to make any progress on the issues that divide them – including Kosovo and missile defence.

Well, at least they won't be calling us anymore bad names...to our face.

As Condoleezza Rice, US secretary of state, ended talks with Vladimir Putin at the Russian president's residence outside Moscow, she brushed off concerns that US missile defence plans posed a threat to Russia's security.

"Cold war? Whatever."

"The US needs to move forward to use technology to defend itself and we're going to do that," Ms Rice said after the talks. "I don't think that anyone expects the US to permit a veto on American security interests."

"You see, we just don't care how the rest of the world feels about what we do. At this point we're just trying to see how mad we can get everybody."

Relations between the two countries have been strained by US plans to base components of a missile interceptor system near Russia's borders, in Poland and the Czech Republic, prompting talk on both sides of the Atlantic of a new cold war.

In order for it to be a cold war again, Russia has to actually pose a threat to us. With the new missile interceptor systems near the Russian border, they don't. Problem solved.