Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Man bites panda who attacks him

I'm willing to bet on who won that one.

A drunken Chinese tourist says he bit a panda who attacked him after he jumped into a zoo enclosure to "hug" the bear.

It's people like that that deserve to be mauled by a large mammal. I've been drunk before, really drunk. I've been stumbling, mumbling, dizzy and disoriented drunk many times. I've never been so drunk that I think to myself "I should hug a real bear cause they're cute and friendly". I always have that voice in the back of my head that says, "Mad Man, that thing will fucking kill you".

Zhang Xinyan, 35, had drunk four draught beers before deciding to enter the Beijing Zoo pen belonging to six-year-old male panda Gu Gu.

Gu Gu doesn't want a hug. And four beers? Lightweight.

The startled Gu Gu bit both legs of his intruder, who responded by biting "the panda on its back", Mr Zhang was quoted by state media as saying.

Funny what people will do in times of panic.

Mr Zhang said he had not realised pandas could be violent.

Surprise. Hey Zhang, that's why they're in cages.

Zoo spokeswoman Ye Mingxia said the panda was unharmed and they were not considering punishing Mr Zhang yet.

He probably learned his lesson. Drink far from the zoo buddy.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

was this another attack sparked by
the al-Qaeda network!...they're training everything...according to Bush

September 20, 2006 2:42 PM  
Blogger f.b.i.t.c. said...

Doh!

And as for being a lightweight, it's got something to do with their genetic makeup - chinese get drunk real quick, handy if you have a chinese girlfriend who won't let you get past second base . . . .

September 21, 2006 2:31 AM  

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