Psychics 'hired to find Bin Laden'

This pretty much makes it official. We have no fucking clue where this guy is.

Psychics were recruited by the Ministry of Defence to locate Osama Bin Laden's secret lair, it was claimed yesterday.

As an American, I really, really thought my country couldn't embarass me any further. Thank God this happened in Britain or I might have just killed myself. Look, after you're done using the psychics to find bin Laden, I lost my wallet the other day...

Newly declassified documents revealed that the MoD conducted an experiment to see if volunteers could 'see' objects hidden inside an envelope.

It's a letter.

It is claimed the ministry hoped positive results would allow it to use psychics to 'remotely view' Bin Laden's base and also to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

I'm guessing, since we haven't found either of those things, this didn't work.

The MoD tried to recruit 12 'known' psychics who advertised their abilities on the Internet, but when they all refused they were forced to use 'novice' volunteers.

You surfed the net for psychics? Even my 8 year old daughter knows not to do that.