Thursday, October 05, 2006

Khameini: Don't masturbate during Ramadan

No wonder they blow themselves up.

Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid, Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.

Whoa, I don't know how you guys do it over there in the middle east but if your masturbating is interfering with your fasting you're finishing wrong. Just use a towel.

Khameini, who is Iran's most powerful political and religious figure, was asked on his website : "If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?

Why the fuck would you masturbate without discharging? That's like driving to Las Vegas and not gambling. It's like flying to Italy and not leaving the hotel. It's like kidnapping a prostitute and not charging the power drill...nevermind.
And when did Muslims stop discharging?

"If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting," the Iranian leader said, posting the reply on his website.

Excuse me ladies for a moment while I ask the men here a quesiton. Have any of you ever masturbated unintentionally? Cause I usually plan it out. You know, make a night of it. Rent a movie. Make dinner. Argue with myself so I can have makeup sex...nevermind.

Another reader asked: "Once in the holy month of Ramadan, I forgot to brush my teeth, and some tiny bits of food remained in my mouth. I swallowed the bits unintentionally. Do I have to perform the qaḍa (repent) for that day's fast?"

Well, Worried in Tehran, you see, it's like this. You shouldn't swallow toothpaste so stop swallowing while brushing your teeth.

2 Comments:

Blogger f.b.i.t.c. said...

Woah, woah, woah there buddy, how can a bunch of wankers possibly be expected to stop JUST for Ramadan.

And as you say, I can't ever remember 'consuming' anything on the point of ejaculation, women can, but I can't.

October 06, 2006 4:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this Guy is still alive!!!

October 06, 2006 2:04 PM  

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