Monday, December 03, 2007

Young Chimp Beats College Students

Ladies and gentlemen...the future.

Think you're smarter than a fifth-grader? How about a 5-year-old chimp? Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won.

Marijuana will do that to you.

That challenges the belief of many people, including many scientists, that "humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions," said researcherTetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University.

I never believed that. I'm not the least bit surprised by this result. I've seen many people who belong in the trees.

"No one can imagine that chimpanzees — young chimpanzees at the age of 5 —have a better performance in a memory task than humans," he said in a statement.

Wait, what were we talking about?

One memory test included three 5-year-old chimps who'd been taught the order of Arabic numerals 1 through 9, and a dozen human volunteers. They saw nine numbers displayed on a computer screen. When they touched the first number, the other eight turned into white squares. The test was to touch all these squares in the order of the numbers that used to be there.

Didn't you kids play Memory when you were little? You're embarrassing our species.

Results showed that the chimps, while no more accurate than the people, could do this faster.

Shame on you. Now the monkeys have bragging rights.


Post a Comment

<< Home