Monday, July 09, 2007

Catholic School Shuns Pupil Named Hell

School Principal Lucifer Lordkiller could not be reached for comment.

A Catholic school refused to enrol a five-year-old because his surname was Hell.

Thats the coolest last name fucking ever. How could you not become a bad-ass with that last name. Unless of course his first name is Herbert. But shit, even Herbert Hell sounds cool.

St Peter Apostle School in Melbourne suggested that Max Hell would only be admitted if he used his mother’s maiden name.

Max Hell. That kid is my new best friend. You know how much that kid is going to get laid when he gets older? The goth chicks will be all over him.

His father initially agreed. But when it came to signing the enrolment forms Alex Hell decided to stand firm in defence of his family’s name.

I really don't get this country's obsession with words. Words are words, no more harmful then breath. Yes sometimes breath smells bad and sometimes words sound bad but you can't get hurt by them. Bother me when a kid wants into Catholic school and lists his hobbies as including pipe-bomb making.

“We’re quite devastated by the whole thing,” Mr Hell, a Catholic father of three said on Monday.

Mr. Hell. Hah. Thats awesome.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

love the comment about the gothic checks being all over him!...but arn't there more common names that mean Lucifer (Ezikial?..ZEK... not sure of the spelling)and we don't throw those kids out...there must be some kids in this country with the last name "DICK"

July 11, 2007 10:31 AM  

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