Iran Hits Milestone in Nuclear Technology

Anyone else hear a clock ticking? I hope that clock isn't the countdown to doomsday and more of a nervous tick I might have developed by doing this news shit everyday for the last five months.
Iran has successfully enriched uranium for the first time, a landmark in its quest to develop nuclear fuel, hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Tuesday.

Translation: If you're going to bomb us, now is probably the time to do so.

He insisted, however, that his country does not aim to develop nuclear weapons.

But if it happens by accident well...oops.

In a nationally televised speech, Ahmadinejad called on the West "not to cause an everlasting hatred in the hearts of Iranians" by trying to force Iran to abandon uranium enrichment.

Wow, doesn't take much to cause everlasting hatred in the hearts of Iranians then does it?
"At this historic moment, with the blessings of God almighty and the efforts made by our scientists, I declare here that the laboratory- scale nuclear fuel cycle has been completed and young scientists produced enriched uranium needed to the degree for nuclear power plants Sunday," Ahmadinejad said.

However, after that opening speech, Ahmadinejad lost his notecards and proceeded to babble on about a fat orange cat who loves lasagna, hates Monday's and boy, is just so damn lazy it cracks him up everyday. He ended the speech by proclaiming himself the neatest man in the history of the world and passed a law instating a Ahmadinejad-signal that the people of Iran can shine into the sky in order to call upon him.