Monday, April 14, 2008

Artillery Shrapnel Hits House, Kills Cat

Yeah, but the cat was working with al-qaeda.

A New Jersey family had some scary moments after their house was hit by a fiery missile.

Of course it's scary. Who knows where that missiles been.

A fragment of a two-pound artillery shell plummeted through the roof of their Jefferson Township home around 2:30 p.m. Friday, landing on their little girl's bed -- ultimately killing the family's cat.

This happened in New Jersey. Sounds like there was some bad intell huh.

CBS Station WCBS correspondent Lou Young reports the shell was fired off from the Picatinny Arsenal, the U.S. Army's sprawling weapons research facility in Picatinny, 2.5 to 3 miles away.

Wow, sounds like it was just that cats time to go. By the way, what exactly are you researching over there, mass panic?

"They heard the explosion, they felt the concussion and a few seconds later the piece came through the roof," homeowner Fred Angle said.

"This is only supposed to happen in the middle east."

The sheer random chance of the event is staggering.

Not really all that random when you fire a shell into the air. It's got to come down somewhere.

Shrapnel came sailing through the air in an arc punching a hole in the roof the size of a fist, into the bedroom where 10-year-old Cassandra sleeps.

A Webkinz doll was wounded in the shelling, its condition unknown at this time.

Brandon Gadow, Cassandra's brother, tried to grab the shrapnel, but it was too hot. He pulled the blanket and the cat outside and called the police.

"Get that out of the house. It stinks."

The family's cat was injured and had to be euthanized, but Cassandra was spared because she was picked up early for a playdate.

I always thought animals had a sixth sense for approaching danger.

"Literally she would've been sitting in the bed with the cat because that was where she was before she left," Cassandra's mother Cheryl Angle said. "The cat ended up staying there when she left."

"You go play, I'm going to stretch out here on the bed where it's safe and warm and...hey, what's that whistling sound?"

Base spokesman Peter Rowlands said, "We deeply regret what happened and also the effect it's had on the family, the loss of their pet, and also the damage to their home, and just the fright they experienced."

So, would you like to explain why you're firing fiery projectiles into populated areas here in our home country?

The Army knows it was lucky -- that it dodged a bullet, not to put too fine a point on it -- and as a result all outdoor weapons testing has been suspended pending the outcome of an investigation.

Lucky? Yeah everyone except the cat. As for an investigation, I figured it had something to do with pushing the "fire" button while the cannon was aimed at the neighbors.

Army brass will be back out at the house soon to talk about compensation for the family.

"We bought you a new kitten."
"Whys it have a target painted on it?"
"Um...never mind that."

Ironically, the Army says the accident occurred while it was testing safer way to dispose of unwanted artillery shells.

So depositing them through the roof of the neighbors house isn't feasible. Better find a new way, how about just launching them in the other direction and seeing how that goes.


Blogger Kari said...

God, I've missed your sarcasm and wit! So glad to have you back.

April 15, 2008 7:11 PM  
Blogger A Mad Man said...

Thanks Kari, good to be back.

April 15, 2008 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mad Man,
Welcome back...really missed your blogs

April 16, 2008 8:22 AM  

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