So Here We Are

And through no fault of our own I might add. Have you ever woken one morning, took a look at the sun beaming through your window, closed your eyes to concentrate solely on your breathing and the song of a nearby sparrow and thought, oh for the love of God get me off this fucking planet!?
I found myself making this request more and more often and usually to the wrong people. ( I doubt the cab driver can offer any aide other than a ride down the block and a quick game of "Guess What I'm Trying to Say?) In fact, I found myself so utterly overwhelmed with confusion as to what had driven the people of planet Earth so inside-out upside-down and down-right fucked up that I depressed myself and started eating ice cream. I hate ice cream.
Almost every morning I would open my eyes and turn on the news, either on the radio or the television, cause, you know, misery loves company. All this did was further depress me. And I wasn't even at work yet.
So enthralled was I in trying to diagnosis the masses psychosis that I spent nearly all my free time, which I apparently have a lot of, reading newspapers and online headlines and I discovered something.

This shit is hysterical!

Our planet, the round sphere of contradiction and pretend civil behavior is a laugh riot. (ask France or any other country holding an election lately how riot-y it can get) When you put aside that whole caring-for-your-fellow-man facade and the save-the-children fundraisers we pretend to care about right before we fall asleep you can realize something just as I have. Laughing at the world is okay, no matter how offensive it might get for others. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Well lets hope that isn't a load of bullshit because this world is fucking sick.
So let us take a look at some headlines around the world as the day's go on.

You might be offended...